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authorities should prioritize expenditure on education than recreational activities

authorities should prioritize expenditure on education than recreational activities Dlwyj
it is argued that authorities should prioritize expenditure on education than recreational activities. While I believe education plays a vital role in society development, I opine that the authorities would be better off spending equally the funds on education and entertainment. This twofold essay will discuss this issue in details. On the one hand, it is undeniable that investing in the education is crucial for the development of nations. Firstly, it is obvious that education contribute the significant merits to each country. In other words, the teaching is the only way to impart accurately the knowledge to the young generation who will shape the nation’s future. Secondly, the investment on education take a colossal amount of money. According to the Vietnamese Educational Ministry, in 2019, there is more than 20% public purse that spent to build the schools in the remoted areas of this nation. Therefore, the investment on education is essential and required a large amount of money. On the other hand, I opine that it is equally important to allot money to the recreational and athletic activities. The first reason is that the entertainment activities could bring about a plethora of opportunities for people to relax. In the light of this cause, human life might be improved mental heath. Besides, sporty activities have various positive impact to the physical heath of people. For example, in Africa, which place have been named the nation of sports, people have better physical heath in comparison with around countries because the sport festival such as TADABONG was organized annually. In conclusion, Albeit the education take a essential role in the development of countries, I am convinced that every nation authority should allot financial resources equally to recreational, athletic activities and educational growths
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is argued
that authorities should prioritize expenditure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. While

I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays a vital role in society development, I opine that the authorities would be better

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
off
spending
equally
the funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and entertainment. This twofold essay will discuss this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
issue


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that investing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is crucial for the development of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nations
.
Firstly
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
contribute the significant merits to each country. In
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
other


words, the teaching is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to impart
accurately
the knowledge to the young generation who

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
will
shape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
future.
Secondly
, the investment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
take a colossal amount of money.

According to the Vietnamese Educational Ministry, in 2019, there is more than 20% public purse that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
spent
to build the schools in the remoted areas of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
Therefore
, the investment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
essential
and required a large amount of money.

On the other hand
, I opine that it is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to allot money to the recreational and athletic

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
activities
. The
first
reason is that the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
could bring about a plethora
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
opportunities
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to relax. In the light of this cause, human life might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
mental heath.

Besides
, sporty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
have various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact to the physical heath of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
in


Africa, which place have
been named
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
of sports,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have better physical heath in

comparison with around countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the sport festival such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
TADABONG
was organized


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
annually
.

In conclusion
, Albeit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
take
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
essential role in the development of countries, I
am convinced


that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
authority should allot financial resources
equally
to recreational, athletic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and

educational growths
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IELTS essay authorities should prioritize expenditure on education than recreational activities

Essay
  American English
21 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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