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A lot of people today move to other countries for their work. This has advantages and disadvantages for the children of such people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion

A lot of people today move to other countries for their work. This has advantages and disadvantages for the children of such people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion awloo
It has been observed from last few years that many people are migrated from there own country to another country in terms of development and better lifestyle for their children’s. it is beneficial for the children’s for getting better education with practical developmental techniques, on the other hand they miss their home land and their ancestral families. Everything is depending on the peoples who are moving from developing nations to developed ones. Developed countries have better facilities like education, Health, infrastructure etc. Providing better future to the children’s one should move to other countries for work and good lifestyle knowing what is not suited to them in their home country. One of my friends moved to England with his family from India because of healthy lifestyle and better education for their children’s because most of the world’s best universities are mostly in England, which is not supposed to be there in India. If ones can get an opportunity for working in other countries it will be better and best for the children to learn new experiences and cultural of the country. Most of the world best universities are situated there. Shifting to other countries, leaving everything in their home country like their own house, friends and families with this situation sometimes children becomes home sick and moreover children’s face linguistic barriers which is inevitable to face with different cultures of the country. Previous year, one of my family members went to Germany for the work for the betterment of their children’s future but unfortunately, they face many challenges in terms of society engagements and the cost of living is very expensive. One should move to another country shall closely look into the depth of the other countries. People moving to other countries for their work, Only for better life and development of their children with better facilities. Which is depend upon country to country by knowing all the facts and difficulties. One should move to other countries for work, which is beneficial for their children in terms of education and future prospects.
It has
been observed
from last few years that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are migrated
from there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in terms of development and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
lifestyle for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
for getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with practical developmental techniques, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand they miss their home land and their ancestral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Everything
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is depending
on the peoples who are moving from developing nations to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
facilities like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, Health, infrastructure etc.

Providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lifestyle knowing what is not suited to them in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. One of my friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to England with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
from India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of healthy lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the world’s best universities are
mostly
in England, which is not supposed to be there in India. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity for working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
it will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and best for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn new experiences and cultural of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Most of the world best universities
are situated
there.

Shifting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, leaving everything in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
with this situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
becomes home sick and
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
face linguistic barriers which is inevitable to face with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Previous year, one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members went to Germany for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the betterment of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges in terms of society engagements and the cost of living is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive. One should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
shall
closely
look into the depth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life and development of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
facilities. Which is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by knowing all the facts and difficulties.

One should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, which is beneficial for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and future prospects.
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IELTS essay A lot of people today move to other countries for their work. This has advantages and disadvantages for the children of such people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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