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It is claimed that the Internet has affected the way young people dress nowadays. Is it a positive or negative development?.

It is claimed that the Internet has affected the way young people dress nowadays. Is it a positive or negative development? . W8nwe
In contemporary society, the impact of the Internet on how young generations dress has drawn public attention in many parts of the world. Although there are certain disadvantages, I would argue that they are outweighed by the advantages. The development of the Internet has brought numerous benefits to the way adolescents dress nowadays. The greatest advantage of this change is its positive inspiration on the youngsters' confidence and self-esteem. It is undeniable that if young people keep up with trendy fashion items posted on the Internet, they have a tendency to gain confidence among the public. Most young people claim that wearing their preferable clothing items helps them capture people's attention and receive compliments. As a result, they can perform more effectively as they can boost their confidence level. Another upside of this alteration is its convenience in adolescent's life. On the Internet, there have been a wide range of popular viral fashion videos which provide people with some fashion hacks, especially for the young generations updated on a daily basis. As a result, young people can apply these tips to their style. Not only does this help them save money for new clothes, but this also encourages the youngsters to reuse their old clothes effectively in order to save money. Despite the abovementioned benefits, there are still some noteworthy drawbacks. Apparently, this influence has detrimental impacts on how young people dress. Some of the fashion videos with inappropriate information about fashion style are uploaded on some social networking sites, which are viewed by the young generations. Consequently, they may follow these unsuitable styles, which make them becoming weird and being criticized by the public. Therefore, they can lead to depression or melancholy. Taking everything into consideration, this reinforces my perspective that the inspiration of the Internet on adolescents' fashion has more beneficial influences although it also brings some disadvantages.
In contemporary society, the impact of the Internet on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations dress has drawn public attention in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world. Although there are certain disadvantages, I would argue that they
are outweighed
by the advantages.

The development of the Internet has brought numerous benefits to the way adolescents dress nowadays. The greatest advantage of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
inspiration on the youngsters' confidence and self-esteem. It is undeniable that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
items posted on the Internet, they have a tendency to gain confidence among the public. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that wearing their preferable clothing items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them capture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attention and receive compliments.
As a result
, they can perform more
effectively
as they can boost their confidence level. Another upside of this alteration is its convenience in adolescent's life. On the Internet, there have been a wide range of popular viral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
videos which provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
hacks,
especially
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations updated on a daily basis.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can apply these tips to their style. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them save money for new clothes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
also
encourages the youngsters to reuse their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
clothes
effectively
in order to save money.

Despite the
Possible spelling mistake found.
abovementioned
benefits, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
noteworthy drawbacks.
Apparently
, this influence has detrimental impacts on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dress.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
videos with inappropriate information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
style
are uploaded
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social networking sites, which
are viewed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations.
Consequently
, they may follow these unsuitable styles, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them becoming weird and
being criticized
by the public.
Therefore
, they can lead to depression or melancholy.

Taking everything into consideration, this reinforces my perspective that the inspiration of the Internet on adolescents'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
has more beneficial influences although it
also
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
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IELTS essay It is claimed that the Internet has affected the way young people dress nowadays. Is it a positive or negative development? .

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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