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It is better for children growsup in villages than in big cities. Do you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and develop your examples?

It is better for children growsup in villages than in big cities. Use specific reasons and develop your examples? L9bMV
Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the village than in a big city. Other community think that a big city gives more opportunities and it is good for the long run. Personally I think that villages are the most beautiful place to live but for a better life with all facilities available in cities. Basically, in big cities or countries there are a lot of opportunities and facilities compared to villages. So most family prefer to live in cities. The education system, transportation facilities are good compared to villages. The development of countries are also help to enlarge children knowledge. On the contrary, there is also advantages and disadvantages in that life. In view of the fact that the city life is very busy life. Sometimes that living has stressful to humans, and there is peculiar types of pollution in big cities. And that is harmful to human beings. For instance, The ministry of earth science research paper was published in October 2018 and identified the following pollutants in Delhi air: 41 per cent of vehicular emissions, 21. 5 per cent of dust and 18 per cent of industries. Hence this is the main problem of city life set side by side of village lifes. Furthermore, I think that village life are more suitable for living, because we get fresh air to breath and the life is completely different from big cities and countries. Plenty of fresh air, beautiful climate for living. No stress and strain in that life. Everyone spend there time with their own family members and they are completely free from the pollutions and tensions in the busy life of cities. In conclusion, there is both advantages and disadvantages in big cities compared to villages. But in cities there are more opportunities and availabilites for a good living environment. Most youngsters are like to live in big cities and developed countries because of the modern lifestyle and development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is better for children to grow up in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
than in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city. Other community
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city gives more opportunities and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the long run.
Personally
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
are the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with all facilities available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Basically
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities and facilities compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
most family prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The education system, transportation facilities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
. The development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
Did you mean "is"?
are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "helped".
help
to enlarge children knowledge.
On the contrary
, there is
also
advantages and disadvantages in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In view of the fact that the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
has stressful to humans, and
Did you mean "there are peculiar types"?
there is peculiar types
of pollution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. And
that is
harmful to human beings.
For instance
, The ministry of earth science research paper
was published
in October 2018 and identified the following pollutants in Delhi air: 41 per cent of vehicular emissions, 21. 5 per cent of dust and 18 per cent of industries.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
this is the main problem of city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
set side by side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
.
Furthermore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are more suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fresh air to breath and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Plenty
of fresh air,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
climate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. No
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and strain in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Everyone
The pronoun 'Everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "spends", "spent".
spend
there time with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
members and
they are completely free from the pollutions and tensions in the busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
In conclusion
,
Did you mean "there are both advantages"?
there is both advantages
and disadvantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
there are more opportunities and
Possible spelling mistake found.
availabilites
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
environment. Most youngsters are like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the modern lifestyle and development.

IELTS essay It is better for children growsup in villages than in big cities. Use specific reasons and develop your examples?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
328 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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