Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is better to attend a performance (such as play, concert or sporting event) live rather than watch it on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with

It is better to attend a performance (such as play, concert or sporting event) live rather than watch it on television. with K3GY0
Some people believe that being a part of the audience in a live event has an edge over viewing the same on the small screen. If questioned, I am in unison with this viewpoint to a large extent. My position is elaborated further. There are numerous benefits of attending live events. The foremost one is that such events are more entertaining. This is because there is a big crowd so the audience is able to experience a charged atmosphere with a lot of cheering, shouting, dancing and sloganeering. For example, thousands flocked to be a part of the pop event of Micheal Jackson and were really amused by the experience. Furthermore, these events provide wonderful opportunities for socialization. That is, people are able to hang out with their friends and family members and have a good recreational time. They also get a chance to meet new people and make new friends. The photographs and videos of such events are life long memories for the people. To illustrate, I attended the cricket world cup final in 2011, and its picture is framed and put in my living room. On the contrary, there are some positives of watching such events on TV. To begin with, it is less expensive than attending live events. As there is no ticket cost or travelling involved, the viewer is able to save a substantial amount of time as well as money. In addition to this, television provides a better viewing experience. To illustrate, the viewers can watch replays, aerial shots, zoomed shots and can hear live commentary of sports matches. To recapitulate, although there are some advantages of watching events on television, it is more exciting to experience them live. The adrenaline rush during live events is the prime reason due to which I favour it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that being a part of the audience in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event


has an edge over viewing the same on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
screen. If questioned, I

am in unison with this viewpoint to a large extent. My position
is elaborated
further
. There are numerous benefits of attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. The foremost

one is that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are more entertaining. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
crowd
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the audience is able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
a charged atmosphere

with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cheering, shouting, dancing and sloganeering.
For example
, thousands flocked to be a part of the pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
of Micheal Jackson and

were
really
amused by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
provide wonderful opportunities for

socialization.
That is
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to hang out with their friends and

family members and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
recreational time. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a

chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends. The photographs and

videos of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are life long memories for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To illustrate, I attended the cricket world cup final in 2011, and its picture
is framed


and put in my living room.
On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positives of watching such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
on

TV. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is less expensive than attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. As

there is no ticket cost or travelling involved, the viewer is able to save a

substantial amount of time
as well
as money.
In addition
to this, television provides a better viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. To illustrate, the viewers

can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
replays, aerial shots, zoomed shots and can hear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live


commentary of sports matches. To recapitulate, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of watching

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
on television, it is more exciting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. The

adrenaline rush during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is the prime reason due to which I

Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
it
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay It is better to attend a performance (such as play, concert or sporting event) live rather than watch it on television. with

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts