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It is better for young people to get advice from old people than young ones (opinion essay)

It is better for young people to get advice from old people than young ones (opinion essay) QLKn9
Most teenagers are rebellious and often turn down any advice from adults that have way more experience. However, I believe that it is a good idea to listen to older people’s advise more. To start with, older people have more experience and knowledge about life. For example, various situations would be handled differently by adults and younger people, because of mistakes which were done in a past and lessons learnt from them. This way, by taking advice from seniors could lead to making more rational decisions. In addition, elderly people are more mature and have less idealistic ideas. For instance, most of the time teenagers have really high hopes, while older citizens would take things into consideration, see the good and bad side of everything. As a result, youth could potentially see the bigger picture. On the other hand, some people say that teenagers sometimes need to get advice from people that are younger. For example, friends might go through similar phases of life and could tell each other how to deal with any troubles that are coming. This way, friends would take advices one from another and build even stronger frienships. All in all, I feel that there are many advice that old people could tell young ones due to their sensitivity, experience and maturity. That it is why youth should listen to seniors more.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are rebellious and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
turn down any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from adults that have way more experience.
However
, I believe that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to listen to older
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people’s
advise more.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more experience and knowledge about life.
For example
, various situations would
be handled
differently
by adults and younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of mistakes which
were done
in a past and lessons
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from them. This way, by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from seniors could lead to making more rational decisions.

In addition
, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more mature and have less idealistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
For instance
,

most of the time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have
really
high hopes, while older citizens would take things into consideration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
side of everything.
As a result
, youth could
potentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the bigger picture.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that are younger.
For example
, friends might go through similar phases of life and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
each other how to deal with any troubles that are coming. This way, friends would take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advices
one from another and build even stronger
Possible spelling mistake found.
frienships
.

All in all, I feel that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
young ones due to their sensitivity, experience and maturity. That it is why youth should listen to seniors more.
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IELTS essay It is better for young people to get advice from old people than young ones (opinion essay)

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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