Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.11

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. v. 11
It is believed that to live in the distance from parents for students is much better. I partly agree with this viewpoint point as living far will teach to be independent as well as can cause some social problems. There are some students who cannot live or do not want to live at home. Because of some circumstances. For instance, some young people study in cities, but live in rural areas and they have to live separately. This can be beneficial for them as being far from parents can learn young generation to be independent or to teach them how to survive in any situations. What's more, they will completely concentrate on the study without disturbing from house deals. Thus, it makes clear why living in distance is best for students. However, when pupils live separately, they face some emotional issues like feeling homesick, especially students in the first year because they get used to being under their parents' wings and living in comfort. As a result, they cannot survive and leave university. Another disadvantage of being an independent student is that it requires more money for the parents they have to pay for their accommodation, travelling, meals etc. So some students have to work, they share work and studying and tear themselves apart consequently they do not finish college. Therefore, living farther from home can cause some problems for students. In conclusion, it is believed that it is better for pupils to be farther away from parents than living at home. Both situations are beneficial, but living with parents can be more comfortable and not hinder any issues during the student's life.
It
is believed
that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the distance from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is much better. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint point as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
far will teach to be independent
as well
as can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social problems.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
or do not want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
study in cities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in rural
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
areas and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
. This can be beneficial for them as being far from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can learn young generation to be independent or to teach them how to survive in any situations. What's more, they will completely concentrate on the study without disturbing from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
deals.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in distance is best for students.

However
, when pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
, they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
emotional issues like feeling homesick,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
first
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to being under their parents' wings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in comfort.
As a result
, they cannot survive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
university. Another disadvantage of being an independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is that it requires more money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for their accommodation, travelling, meals etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work, they share work and studying and tear themselves apart
consequently
they do not finish college.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
farther from home can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems for students.

In conclusion
, it
is believed
that it is better for pupils to be farther away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
at home. Both situations are beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can be more comfortable and not hinder any issues during the student's life.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts