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Describe a time you saw an interesting animal

Describe a time you saw an interesting animal QKNxP
The world has a diverse biological system with the number of up to hundreds of thousands of species distributed across countries, special animals which make me interested in wild lions in Africa. Well, I still remember that special day when a circus came to my city and performed. I have a chance to meet one lion in real life. Almost everyone can see wild animals on the television or in the zoo, rarely can we see them directly within a short distance. The first thing I would mention is that habitat and the way they survive. The lion’s trump card is the group hunt, their advantage is body size and strength, lions use teamwork to regularly bring down prey such as the cape buffalo which is the ultimate prey. Lions attack with the precision of a pro football team, with each lion playing the same position time and time again in hunts. Another point I would add is that according to analysts, a lion will have ten or fourteen years of life expectancy, with the adult maximum speed it can gain being 80 kilometers per hour, that is amazing information. Additionally, some studies show that if a lion lives in captivity, it will last its life up to 20 years. Eventually, the information above is very startling which makes me curious about the kind of lions all over the world. It will have many unique characteristics without the research of people. In the future with my travel dream, I want to go to other countries to see with my own eyes different things on the earth.
The world has a diverse biological system with the number of up to hundreds of thousands of species distributed across countries, special animals which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me interested in wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lions
in Africa. Well, I
still
remember that special day when a circus came to my city and performed. I have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lion
in real life. Almost everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
wild animals on the television or in the zoo, rarely can we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them
directly
within a short distance. The
first
thing I would mention is that habitat and the way they survive. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lion’s
trump card is the group hunt, their advantage is body size and strength,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
teamwork to
regularly
bring down prey such as the cape buffalo which is the ultimate prey.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Lions
attack with the precision of a pro football team, with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lion
playing the same position time and time again in hunts. Another point I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
is that according to analysts, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lion
will have ten or fourteen years of life expectancy, with the adult maximum speed it can gain being 80 kilometers per hour,
that is
amazing information.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in captivity, it will last its life up to 20 years.
Eventually
, the information above is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
startling which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me curious about the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lions
all over the world. It will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unique characteristics without the research of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In the future with my travel dream, I want to go to other countries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
eyes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things on the earth.
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IELTS essay Describe a time you saw an interesting animal

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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