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It is believed my many that advertisements play a huge role in asking customers to buy while others believe that advertisements are a thing of past. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed my many that advertisements play a huge role in asking customers to buy while others believe that advertisements are a thing of past. Bw27V
Many individuals believe that advertisements often succeeds in motivating us to buy new products while others opine that they have became used to of it and it no longer lusts them. In this essay both of the views will be highlighted including my opinion. To begin with, it is oftely believed that advertisements pay a huge role in forcing us to buy newly launched products. As we pay huge attention to the banners that are posted on the hangings near our homes, many of us tend to get attracted with such things and often end up buying them. As per a survey done by a grocery store 38% of the children comes to there stores after watching the posters of there products. This way banners play a huge role in attracting one to spend on new things. On the other hand, there are other civilians too that argue that these are the things of past and no longer attract them. Due to the technological advancements, many apps put notifications for those users who are having a membership or accounts related to their apps. Henceforth, they spend lumpsome after watching notifications related to the new items and they longer are attracted to posters. A survey done by a shopping apps named Urbanic represents that 40% of its users buy items after getting a ping related to newly launched item. Technology is really playing a vital role in sponsoring new things that come in the market. To wind up, I would like to say that advertisements are still important for many as older residents of a nation still uses phones that just have a basic facility of making a phone call and receiving one. In my opinion advertisements are important as they fascinates many and are still important for the society of a particular country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
succeeds in motivating us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
products while others opine that they have became
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to of it and it no longer lusts them. In this essay both of the views will
be highlighted
including my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
oftely
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
pay a huge role in forcing us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
newly
launched products. As we pay huge attention to the banners that
are posted
on the hangings near our homes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted with such things and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up buying them. As per a survey done by a grocery store 38% of the children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
Did you mean "their"?
there
stores after watching the posters of
Did you mean "their"?
there
products. This way banners play a huge role in attracting one to spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.

On the other hand
, there are other civilians
Did you mean "to that"?
too that
argue that these are the things of past and no longer attract them. Due to the technological advancements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
apps put notifications for those users who are having a membership or accounts related to their apps. Henceforth, they spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
lumpsome
after watching notifications related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
items and
Possible mistake. Please verify.
they longer
are attracted
to posters. A survey done by a shopping apps named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Urbanic
represents that 40% of its users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
items after getting a ping related to
newly
launched item. Technology is
really
playing a vital role in sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the market.

To wind up, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as older residents of a nation
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
phones that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have a basic facility of making a phone call and receiving one. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "fascinate"
fascinates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the society of a particular country.
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IELTS essay It is believed my many that advertisements play a huge role in asking customers to buy while others believe that advertisements are a thing of past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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