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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved? 288J
The debate over an increasing in citizens with healthy problems due to being overweight has evolved as major topic of concern among many people on these days. Several factors attributed to this phenomenon will be elaborated in the following essay before feasible measures are drawn. On the one hand, there are many reasons for the increase in the number of obese people. Firstly, one of the main reasons for people becoming overweight on these days is that they are eating junk food, ready meals and convenience food. For instance, one study found that children consumed too much fast food like pizza, burger without parental supervision. Secondly, a particular cause for concern is the strong development of technology and machines, which can get the job done without manpower. Therefore, people are becoming less sedentary as a result of technological advancements, which makes people more and more lazy and fat. On the other hand, there are many ways to solve this problem. One possible solution is that parents should advise their children to limit eating fast food, which is harmful to their health. Furthermore, parents have to cook healthy meals at home, which is better for health and does not cause obesity. To solve this problem, the government can spread health awareness through various campaigns and television programs, which shows harmful affects of obesity and the importance of doing exercises. As a result, this would have a possible effect on people’s health. In conclusion, overweight is global problem, mainly caused by the use of advanced technology and eating convenient food, it can be prevented from spreading health awareness and doing exercises.
The debate over an increasing in citizens with healthy
problems
due to being overweight has evolved as major topic of concern among
many
people
on these days. Several factors attributed to this phenomenon will
be elaborated
in the following essay
before
feasible measures
are drawn
.

On the one hand, there are
many
reasons for the increase in the number of obese
people
.
Firstly
, one of the main reasons for
people
becoming overweight on these days is that they are eating junk
food
, ready meals and convenience
food
.
For instance
, one study found that children consumed too much
fast
food
like pizza, burger without parental supervision.
Secondly
, a particular cause for concern is the strong development of technology and machines, which can
get
the job done without manpower.
Therefore
,
people
are becoming less sedentary
as a result
of technological advancements, which
makes
people
more and more lazy and
fat
.

On the other hand
, there are
many
ways to solve this
problem
. One possible solution is that parents should advise their children to limit eating
fast
food
, which is harmful to their
health
.
Furthermore
, parents
have to
cook healthy meals at home, which is better for
health
and does not cause obesity. To solve this
problem
, the
government
can spread
health
awareness through various campaigns and television programs, which
shows
harmful affects of obesity and the importance of doing exercises.
As a result
, this would have a possible effect on
people’s
health.

In conclusion
, overweight is global
problem
,
mainly
caused by the
use
of advanced technology and eating convenient
food
, it can be
prevented
from spreading
health
awareness and doing exercises.
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IELTS essay The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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