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It is becoming increasingly popular for school leavers to take a year off before going to university. Do the advantages of this outweigh any disadvantage?

It is becoming increasingly popular for school leavers to take a year off before going to university. Do the advantages of this outweigh any disadvantage? 11EgW
Students, who graduate from high school, are becoming interested in taking a gap year before starting in college. I firmly believe that the benefits of a gap year overweigh the drawbacks. The downturn of taking a year off is that it can make students lose academic momentum. This is because they could forget the lessons which are collected for many years after they suddenly stop studying to take a yearly break. To explain, a large number of lessons are used in university lecture so it is easy to forget. Therefore, it makes them cannot study in university smoothly. Despite the negative aspect, a gap year has several strengths. To begin with, students can have more time to find some motivation. If they take a year off, spending time for travel is good for finding motivation. For example, art museums are fantastic places which can encourage people to become artist. Moreover, for students who interested in geology, mountains and caves are superlative locations to inspire them. Another plus point of taking a gap year is that students might spend time learning other language. For instance, many schools in Thailand do not teach English enough while English is certainly important in this day. That’s why Thai students want to take a gap year for studying English before going to university. In conclusion, this essay feels that pros of taking a gap year clearly overweigh the cons. Some of the positive aspects are that it makes students have more time to find some motivation, and might spend time learning other language.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
, who graduate from high school, are becoming interested in taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting in college. I
firmly
believe that the benefits of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the drawbacks.

The downturn of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off is that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
lose academic momentum. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could forget the lessons which
are collected
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years after they
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
studying to take a yearly break. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
lessons are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in university lecture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is easy to forget.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them cannot study in university
smoothly
.

Despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
has several strengths. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
motivation. If they take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for travel is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for finding motivation.
For example
, art museums are fantastic places which can encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to become artist.
Moreover
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who interested in geology, mountains and caves are superlative locations to inspire them.

Another plus point of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
learning other language.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools in Thailand do not teach English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
while English is
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in this day. That’s why Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
for studying English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to university.

In conclusion
, this essay feels that pros of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
clearly
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the cons.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects are that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
motivation, and might spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
learning other language.
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IELTS essay It is becoming increasingly popular for school leavers to take a year off before going to university. Do the advantages of this outweigh any disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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