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It is as important for school children to study music, art and sport as it is for them to become literate and numerate.' How far do you agree with this statement? Support your point of view with reasons and / or examples from your own experience.

It is as important for school children to study music, art and sport as it is for them to become literate and numerate. ' How far Support your point of view with reasons and / or examples from your own experience. wBb8m
The impact of music, which was always debatable, has now become more controversial. While some people believe that studying music, art and sports have a positive impact on young children, others claim that studying music can bring more problems than benefits. This essay will elaborate on both sides of the debate and thus lead to a logical conclusion. At the outset, there are numerous reasons why the student should study music, and this can bring some advantages, but the most preponderant one lies in the fact that music would have a positive impact on the child's mental health and well-being. An instance illustrating action is the fact that the survey conducted at the University of Canberra, which indicates that 60% of young children prefer to study music than art. Furthermore, another point to be taken into consideration is the fact that in my own experience, I have enjoyed studying music when I was a teenager. Nevertheless, some people adopt an opposing view and tend to believe that studying sport can bring a problem to society. It is largely attributed to the fact that young people would get distracted with their schooling. For example, the article published in the Times magazine, which clearly illustrates that the majority of teachers in Japan often believe that you do not have to study music, art, and sport to become literate and numerate. In conclusion, while there are strong arguments on both sides of the debate, I strongly believe that music, art, and sports can positively impact society. However, it is in my considered opinion that you do not have to study music, art and sport to become literate and numerate.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, which was always debatable, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become more controversial. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
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studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on young children, others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can bring more problems than benefits. This essay will elaborate on both sides of the debate and
thus
lead to a logical conclusion.

At the outset, there are numerous reasons why the student should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, and this can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most preponderant one lies in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the child's mental health and well-being. An instance illustrating action is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that the survey conducted at the University of Canberra, which indicates that 60% of young children prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
Furthermore
, another point to
be taken
into consideration is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, I have enjoyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
when I was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
adopt an opposing view and tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
can bring a problem to society. It is
largely
attributed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted with their schooling.
For example
, the article published in the Times magazine, which
clearly
illustrates that the majority of teachers in Japan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
to become literate and numerate.

In conclusion
, while there are strong arguments on both sides of the debate, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
positively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
society.
However
, it is in my considered opinion that you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
to become literate and numerate.
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IELTS essay It is as important for school children to study music, art and sport as it is for them to become literate and numerate. ' How far Support your point of view with reasons and / or examples from your own experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • It is as important for school children to study music, art and sport as it is for them to become literate and numerate.' How far do you agree with this statement? Support your point of view with reasons and / or examples from your own experience.