Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is a good idea for teenagers to have a job while they are studying. To what extent you agree to this?

It is a good idea for teenagers to have a job while they are studying. m9rdK
It is often considered that having a job for teenagers is good while they are studying. Some people believe that it is not a good choice for a teenager. But I personally agree that it is good for them to have a job when they are studying. However, it got some disadvantages too. First of all, I believe that having a job for the teenagers while they studying makes them as a independent citizen. Also other benefits including independency, financial stability, able to manage their work and study, and they get to understand the dynamic world around them. Firstly, the students learn how to arrange time to combine and manage both work and study which is difficult. By once they learn how to arrange they will be able to manage their time in crucial times as well as they become more assertive in their life. Also learning money management in such small age make them more independent and having a financial stability. Both the sense make them a responsible citizen
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered that having a job for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
while they are studying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them to have a job when they are studying.
However
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages too.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that having a job for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
while
Did you mean "they're studying", "they are studying", or "they were studying"?
they studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
independent citizen.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
other benefits including
Possible spelling mistake found.
independency
, financial stability, able to manage their work and study, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to understand the dynamic world around them.
Firstly
, the students learn how to arrange time to combine and manage both work and study which is difficult. By once they learn how to arrange they will be able to manage their time in crucial times
as well
as they become more assertive in their life.
Also
learning money management in such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more independent and having a financial stability. Both the sense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a responsible
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
citizen
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay It is a good idea for teenagers to have a job while they are studying.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
169 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Fathers should get paternity leave. agree or disagree?
    Many now suggest that both mothers and fathers deserve leave from work after the birth of a child. In my opinion, though time off work for fathers is not as justified as it is for mothers, this policy is forward-thinking and advisable. Critics of such a policy claim that there is little physical ju...
  • 5band
    Apart from studying, school children should share housework with their parents
    At the present time, kids are tied-up and over-scheduled. Elders are the ones who take responsibility to do all the home tasks. In my way of thinking, I assume that apart from studying, children should share housework with their parents. Firstly, we need to understand that housework should be equall...
  • 6band
    Some people believe that bicycles are the best mode of transport in cities, while others disagree
    It is alleged by some people that bike executes the role of the best type of transport in urban areas, while other groups of people think differently. Consuming bicycles as a way to move around in the municipality would certainly facilitate movement however there will also be some drawbacks. Primar...
  • 6band
    Supermarkets should only sell domestic products or forien
    There are two common contemplation models amid people about supermarkets products. Multitude fellows feel that shopping shelves must be filled only by domestic items. However, numerous others claim that being available wide ranges of cases from both internal and external manufacturers should be cons...
  • 5band
    What do you study new subject? Tell us the new subject
    I am very interesting about space. In Saudi Arabia has grant to study space and, when I see it I feel very glad to join this but pefore of study important take above of 6 in ELTS exam I am very frightened for this test but I can do it. I will study this subject after I get the score for IELTS exam. ...
  • 6band
    SOME PEOPLE STATES THAT ENIVOREMNT PROBLEM SHOULD BE SOLVED ON GLOBAL WHILE OTHER BELIEVE IT IS BETTER TO SOLVE NATIONALLY.
    IN LAST DECADES, WHENEVER WE OPEN OPEN A TELEVISION OFR FLICKING THE PAGE OF NEWSPAPER ITS ALL ABOUT INCRAESING ISSUE OF PRECIOUS ENVIRONMENT. MAJORTITY OF PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES CAN BE SOLVED ONLY WHEN EVERY COUNTRY WORK TOGETHER WHILE, OTHER ARGUE THAT THESE PROBLEM CAN BE BEST S...