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IT has reduced social inequality

IT has reduced social inequality 0MkpO
Nowadays in developing society, information technology is contributing a significant part to the convenience of humans’ life. Based on that, some people think that information technology is helping reduced social inequality, but that is not the case. While information technology is developing rapidly, there are still some people has many difficulties in accessing Internet, they may be left further and further behind. In some poor countries, the number of people able to read are fewer than 50 per cent of population. This is because they doesn’t have money for going to school or their countries doesn’t support them for going out of illiterate. Because of that, their access to IT is impossible. Another major problem is basic infrastructure inadequate. The big problems is their electricity cannot provide widely for IT things. In some area, internet broadband cannot reached to many rural areas, or maybe these are very expensive to have an Internet access due to the geographical problems. The Internet may actually be increasing social inequality between developed areas and rural areas. Even where IT access available, governments often fearful of well-performed public. The use of blocking software and firewall is common. They has banned many website and software which is widely using around the world for reason that they told every body is ‘for countries’ safety’. Although there are some disadvantages with research for education and science, they cannot reached to many documents sharing on global network. In short, information technology cannot reduce social inequality due to many problems are still appearing as above.
Nowadays in developing society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is contributing a

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significant
part to the convenience of humans’ life. Based on that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
people


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
social inequality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that is


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
not
the case. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is developing
rapidly
, there are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
still


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties in accessing Internet, they may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
further


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and
further
behind.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
poor countries, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
able to read are fewer than 50 per

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
cent
of population. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "don’t"
doesn’t
have money for going to school
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
or


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their
countries
You should probably use "do".
doesn
’t support them for going out of illiterate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,

their access to IT is impossible.

Another major problem is basic infrastructure inadequate. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problems
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
their
electricity cannot provide
widely
for IT things. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
area,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
internet


broadband cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "reach"
reached
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rural areas, or maybe these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
have an Internet access due to the geographical problems. The Internet
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
may


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
actually
be increasing social inequality between developed areas and rural areas.

Even where IT access available,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fearful of well-performed

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
public
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of blocking software and firewall is common. They
Possible agreement error -- use base form here: "have", "haven".
has
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
banned


Possible agreement error. The noun website seems to be countable; consider using: "many websites".
many website
and software which is
widely
using around the world for reason that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
every body is ‘for countries’ safety’. Although there are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
some


disadvantages with research for education and science, they cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "reach"
reached
to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
documents sharing on global network.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
social inequality due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
problems
are
still
appearing as above.
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IELTS essay IT has reduced social inequality

Essay
  American English
23 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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