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It has been suggested that people nowadays are more social due to the advancement in technology.

It has been suggested that people nowadays are more social due to the advancement in technology. d2Q6
It has been suggested that people nowadays are more social due to the advancement in technology. I partly agree with this point of view, although technology has improved communications in some cases, the relationships have lost their deepness. There is various evidence that shows technological development has had a positive effect on social relationships. Social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and youtube give people an opportunity to be in contact with a vast majority of the audience. furthermore, social platforms are encouraging people to participate in social events and encourage introverted people to be more sociable and express their ideas easily through comments and posts. Technology can pass beyond people’s national boundaries and contribute to social relations by gathering people all over the world with common interests together to share their viewpoints and have a useful conversation around different topics. The convenience of being in touch with people through smartphones makes them an inseparable part of our lives. On the other hand, advancement in technology causes the disappearance of a special bond between people and makes relationships superficial. For example, People used to be more likely to face-to-face communications while nowadays especially youngsters prefer to send messages or chat with their friends and family members on online platforms which damage profound relationships. studies have shown that social platforms can increase the feeling of loneliness even though people have access to millions of peoples around the world. In sum, it seems to me although technology helps in improving social relationships, it would never cause profound relationships.
It has
been suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
due to the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
communications in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
have lost their deepness.

There is various evidence that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
technological development has had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
such as Facebook, Instagram, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
an opportunity to be in contact with a vast majority of the audience.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
are encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and encourage introverted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be more sociable and express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
easily
through comments and posts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
can pass beyond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
national boundaries and contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relations by gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world with common interests together to share their viewpoints and have a useful conversation around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
topics. The convenience of being in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through smartphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them an inseparable part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
, advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
causes the disappearance of a special bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
superficial.
For example
,
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People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be more likely to face-to-face communications while nowadays
especially
youngsters prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages or chat with their friends and family members on online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
which damage profound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
studies
have shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
can increase the feeling of loneliness
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have access to millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
around the world.

In sum, it seems to me although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
, it would never cause profound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
.
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IELTS essay It has been suggested that people nowadays are more social due to the advancement in technology.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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