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Digital communication technology, such as email. instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connection between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

Digital communication technology, such as email. instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connection between people. with this opinion? v. 3
Although, advances in technology have made it easier for people to communicate around the globe, but it does not make better relations among them. I think, modern technological inventions have positive effects, but people have made it negative, because they do not use it in an appropriate way. To begin with, the most predominant benefit is people can communicate with each other all the globe, they just need to push the button and connect with them. For example, In traditional time people used to write letters, then they wait for response for months and sometime these telegrams missed and did not reach at a person to whom it concern. In today's era, people can connect with each other not only through phone in fact different internet applications are available, even with the help of that they can see each other. Moreover, before the existence of the internet people can not update their routine activities on social media, but now this is possible and they can up-to-date everything and share their experience with friends, family and relatives. However, the main concern is rising due to the advance inventions is people are going away from one another in the real world. In fact, science made it for positive results and people are addicted of social media. Now it is visible that on social media people have thousands of friends in virtual world, but they do not know about them in reality. Even do not meet each other, just waste their productive time, When communication devices were not existing, then people were more close and share their problems and also, assist who was in need, but now it is expiring due to wrong use of these. In conclusion, while scientists make these devices to improve relations among people, but when one does not use these in a good way, then negative concerns take birth.
Although, advances in technology have made it easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate around the globe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better relations among them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, modern technological inventions have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have made it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
Consider replacing "in an appropriate way" with the adverb for "appropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appropriate way
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most predominant benefit is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
all the globe, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to push the button and connect with them.
For example
, In traditional time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to write letters, then they wait for response for months and sometime these telegrams missed and did not reach at a person to whom it
Did you mean "concerns"?
concern
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through phone in fact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
internet applications are available, even with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the existence of the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not update their routine activities on social media,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
this is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
possible and
they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
can up-to-date
everything and share their experience with friends, family and relatives.

However
, the main concern is rising due to the advance inventions is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are going away from one another in the real world. In fact, science made it for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are addicted
of social media.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
it is visible that on social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have thousands of friends in virtual world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not know about them in reality. Even do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
waste their productive time, When communication devices were not existing, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were more close and share their problems and
also
, assist who was in need,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is expiring due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these.

In conclusion
, while scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these devices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
relations among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when one does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way, then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
concerns take birth.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Digital communication technology, such as email. instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connection between people. with this opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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