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It can be argued that there are some kinds of individuals who are working for the similar workplace during their working period. In my opinion, however, people had better try to have a job in divergent workplaces in their working life.

It can be argued that there are some kinds of individuals who are working for the similar workplace during their working period. In my opinion, however, people had better try to have a job in divergent workplaces in their working life. 2Pb9j
It can be argued that there are some kinds of individuals who are working for the similar workplace during their working period. In my opinion, however, people had better try to have a job in divergent workplaces in their working life. On the one hand, there are several reasons why people work in the same place all their working life. The first reason is that having a job in the same organization give them a sense of safety because it helps them to have a stable jod and salary so they do not have to think much about money. In addition, the nature of human is fear of taking risks so they will not change their job if they feel their future ambiguous when they do so. The second reson is that people do not take a job in the new company for fear of failure. When they want to get a new job, they have to have a interview first and they will not know whether they can be selected or not. Therefore, they will not leave their contemporary job. On the other hand, I think that working for various companies is conducive to people. Firstly, Working in the new place will arouse our creativity because we have an opportunity to contact with new people and also meet various kinds of people. Hence, we can learn about how they deal with on their tasks and the way they behave with each other if it is good. Sencondly, working in different organizations assists us in having more knowledge about the methods that entrepreneurs employ to operate their company. Last but not least, we can explore ourselves when working in different environtments and gain different experience through working. All in all, although some people believes that individual should work for the same company during their working life, I personally think that it will be more beneficial for people to work for various organizations.
It can
be argued
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of individuals who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the similar workplace during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
period. In my opinion,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had better try to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in divergent workplaces in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work in the same place all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life. The
first
reason is that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the same organization give them a sense of safety
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to have a stable
Possible spelling mistake found.
jod
and salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
much about money.
In addition
, the nature of human is fear of taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if they feel their future ambiguous when they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. The second
Possible spelling mistake found.
reson
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for fear of failure. When they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
interview
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
first and
they will not know whether they can
be selected
or not.
Therefore
, they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their contemporary job.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is conducive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place will arouse our creativity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have an opportunity to contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
, we can learn about how they deal with on their tasks and the way they behave with each other if it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sencondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
organizations assists us in having more knowledge about the methods that entrepreneurs employ to operate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, we can explore ourselves when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
environtments
and gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
experience through working.

All in all, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that individual should work for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it will be more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work for various organizations.
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IELTS essay It can be argued that there are some kinds of individuals who are working for the similar workplace during their working period. In my opinion, however, people had better try to have a job in divergent workplaces in their working life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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