Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Is the best way to improve public health adiing more sports facilities or should other factors be considered? Discuss both views and give your oppinion.

Is the best way to improve public health adiing more sports facilities or should other factors be considered? XqY7q
The public health is one of the most important traits of a society. While some people say that a good way to improve the public health is by adding more sports faciliteis, others argue that it wouldn't have too many benefits. On one hand, the sport is an important factor when it comes to health, and giving people more choices to choose from when picking up a sport also means an increment in the overall health of individuals in a society. Increasing the number of sports facilities allows more people to exercise, furthermore syncronising more people's schedules, thus every person can find some time in their program for sports. On the other hand, just the addition of sport facilities is not something that people can rely on, when speaking about improving one's health, furthermore other measures are needed too. Many studies show that an individual's health is based only 20% on exercising, the other 80% relying on the person's diet. Promoting local foods, especially fruits, vegetables and cereals, and persuading people to eat healthier may have a big improvement on the overall public health. Moreover, other small factors like pollution, ways of transportation and the medical conditions can also contribute to a person's physical wellness. Sometimes, adding up all the smaller facilities can overweight the benefits of working out or eating good, furthermore, reducing the pollution, encouraging people to use the bycicle rather than the car, or even the public transport and assuring that the conditions in the hospitals and the medicine sold in pharmacies are of quality may have more pros than building more sports facilities. To conclude, the addition of sports facilities is important for the general public health, nevertheless other improvements should not be forgotten, as they may be as important as sports, if not more that that.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
traits of a society.

While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is by adding more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake found.
faciliteis
, others argue that it wouldn't have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.

On one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more choices to choose from when picking up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
also
means an increment in the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of individuals in a society. Increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to exercise,
furthermore
Possible spelling mistake found.
syncronising
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's schedules,
thus
every person can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time in their program for sports.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the addition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities is not something that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can rely on, when speaking about improving one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
furthermore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures
are needed
too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that an individual's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is based
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20% on exercising, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
80% relying on the person's diet. Promoting local foods,
especially
fruits, vegetables and cereals, and persuading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to eat healthier may have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
improvement on the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
factors like pollution, ways of transportation and the medical conditions can
also
contribute to a person's physical wellness.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, adding up all the smaller facilities can overweight the benefits of working out or eating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
furthermore
, reducing the pollution, encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bycicle
rather
than the car, or even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport and assuring that the conditions in the hospitals and the medicine sold in pharmacies are of quality may have more pros than building more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities.

To conclude
, the addition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
nevertheless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
improvements should not
be forgotten
, as they may be as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, if not more
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Is the best way to improve public health adiing more sports facilities or should other factors be considered?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Nowadays, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world
    Today, millions of tons of food are wasted around the world because food is ubiquitous on a global scale. The most important reason why food prices are easily wasted is because of high access to technical advances in farming. Therefore, an increase in output leads to a decrease in food prices. Ano...
  • 5.5band
    The development society has motivated people to prioritize education as evidenced by innumerable children sent to school to receive a comprehensive education.
    The development society has motivated people to prioritize education as evidenced by innumerable children sent to school to receive a comprehensive education. It is undertandable why the role of teachers toward children should not be underestimated. In the childhood, almost half of time children sp...
  • 6band
    In the modern urban lifestyle, more and more people are losing their sense of community.
    In the modern urban lifestyle, more and more people are losing their sense of community. Nowadays, many people tend to move together to cities mainly for work. The benefits of living and working in the city cannot be denied. In the age of dependence on technology, people are mostly busy with their ...
  • 5.5band
    how music helps in bringing people of different age and culture together
    Different people have different opinion on importance of Music. Some says that the music is good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together where some have different mindset about the music. This bring no doubt that the music plays very important role in human life and their moo...
  • 6band
    many people prefer to eat fast food
    Needless to say, the dietary habits of people are completely changed in today’s fast and contemporary world. As a result, numerous individuals prefer to eat fast food. No doubt, it has more disadvantages than advantages. In the given essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of the...
  • 5.5band
    different opinion on importance of Music
    Different people have different opinion on importance of Music. Some says that the music is good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together where some have different mindset about the music. This bring no doubt that the music plays very important role in human life and their moo...