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Is Social networking sites damaging the minds of the younger generation?

Is Social networking sites damaging the minds of the younger generation? gD3rO
Social networking sites are not damaging the minds of the younger generation. First, the younger generation have their own circle of friends. They may effect by their friends but not lead to damage the minds. Also, social networking could make friend. It connect people to people from all over the world. The younger must can find someone that can talk with. Last, the younger generation might have value changing or learn new stuff via the social networking. For example, when they meet new people, they could learn something from them. Even the younger can get some value from others. In conclusion the social networking sites are not damage the younger. There have more value greater than disadvantage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking sites are not damaging the minds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
circle of friends. They may
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
by their friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not lead to damage the minds.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friend. It
Did you mean "connects"?
connect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all over the world. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
Two modal verbs connected. Did you mean: "must, can", "must" or "can"?
must can
find someone that can talk with. Last, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation might have value changing or learn new stuff via the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking.
For example
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they could learn something from them. Even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
value from others.

In conclusion
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites are not damage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
. There have more value greater than disadvantage.

IELTS essay Is Social networking sites damaging the minds of the younger generation?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
117 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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