Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Is playing video games addictive? Is there a point where these games become dangerous?

Is playing video games addictive? Is there a point where these games become dangerous? G3XX2
Computer games have been considered to be one of the most popular entertainment activities that people do in their spare time. It seems to remove all the stress we have in a period and has positive impacts on the player. But it's also easy to get addicted to games and can push you over the edge. In my opinion, the reason why people become obsessed with games is that they like the thrill in the game, it could be in fighting games, shooting games, . . . The excitement can get more intense from low to high levels. Or from what I saw, some of my friends get addicted to games causes they want to compete with friends, want to show off their "skills" to get respect from others. On the other hand, some like games that much because it helps them create the virtual world that they dream to live in real life. Moreover, being addicted to video games is like using addictive drugs. Playing games from time to time can be harmful to your health caused by lack of sleep, short-sighted by hours of watching the LED screen, obesity because of no exercise, . . . or reduce the productivity of your life. Many children spend the majority of their time playing computer games and hardly engage in school work and less communicate with relatives. On the whole, this addiction will slowly kill you physically and mentally if you don't balance between game and life. To summarize, playing games is addictive that can lead to lead to disturbing results.
Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
been considered
to be one of the most popular entertainment activities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do in their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It seems to remove all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
we have in a period and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the player.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it's
also
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and can push you over the edge.

In my opinion, the reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become obsessed with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is that they like the thrill in the game, it could be in fighting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, shooting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
The excitement can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more intense from low to high levels. Or from what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "game".
games
causes they want to compete with friends, want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
respect from others.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them create the virtual world that they dream to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in real life.

Moreover
,
being addicted
to video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is like using addictive drugs. Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can be harmful to your health caused by lack of sleep, short-sighted by hours of watching the LED screen, obesity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of no exercise
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the productivity of your life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
children spend the majority of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and hardly engage in school work and less communicate with relatives.
On the whole
, this addiction will
slowly
kill you
physically
and mentally if you don't balance between game and life.

To summarize
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is addictive that can
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "lead to".
lead to lead to
disturbing results.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Is playing video games addictive? Is there a point where these games become dangerous?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts