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Some people believe that in the future the national borders between countries will disappear because of the becoming more mobile population. While this idea is true to a certain extent, I partly disagree with this opinion.

Some people believe that in the future the national borders between countries will disappear because of the becoming more mobile population. While this idea is true to a certain extent, I partly disagree with this opinion. VPJXK
Some people believe that in the future the national borders between countries will disappear because of the becoming more mobile population. While this idea is true to a certain extent, I partly disagree with this opinion. On the one hand, there are understandable why people support this idea. Firstly, in the modern area, the dollar is the global currency and it can be used in almost all countries, that leads to some countries which want to use the dollar as their currency trying to be a part of the USA. For example, China is trying to convince the government of the USA for allowing them to combine with and use the USA as their currency. In addition, a lot of young people always want to learn more about the culture they but the boundaries are the obstacles that they need to remove. For instance, in Viet Nam, a group of young people, usually present about the drawbacks of the border between Viet Nam and Laos and they do everything to convince the government for removing the border. On the other hand, there are several reasons why I think this idea is not quite right. First, some countries, which do not have good relationships with their neighbors, consequently, they do not want to combine with other countries. An illustration of this is that the relationship between Viet Nam and China is quite bad. The residents in Viet Nam always have a bunch of conflicts with the resident in China. Moreover, removing the boundaries leads to several countries which are less developed will be controlled by the richer. As a consequence, the less developed countries can be lost their language. For example, Cambodia, which does not have a border between them and Thailand, they are losing their mother tongue and almost all their residents use Thai instead. In conclusion, while some people side with the opinion about removing the national borders between countries by the mobile of population, I believe several aspects of this idea are not quite right and I partly disagree with this idea.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that in the future the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will disappear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the becoming more mobile population. While this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
is true to a certain extent, I partly disagree with this opinion.

On the one hand, there are understandable why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
.
Firstly
, in the modern area, the dollar is the global currency and it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, that leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the dollar as their currency trying to be a part of the USA.
For example
, China is trying to convince the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the USA for allowing them to combine with and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the USA as their currency.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always want to learn more about the culture they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the boundaries are the obstacles that they need to remove.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, a group of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
usually
present about the drawbacks of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
border
between
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Laos and
they do everything to convince the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for removing the border.

On the other hand
, there are several reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
is not quite right.
First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which do not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships with their neighbors,
consequently
, they do not want to combine with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. An illustration of this is that the relationship between
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam and China is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. The residents in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam always have a bunch of conflicts with the resident in China.
Moreover
, removing the boundaries leads to several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are less developed will
be controlled
by the richer. As a consequence, the less developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
be lost
their language.
For example
, Cambodia, which does not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
border
between them and Thailand, they are losing their mother tongue and almost all their residents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Thai
instead
.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
side with the opinion about removing the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by the mobile of population, I believe several aspects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
are not quite right and I partly disagree with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that in the future the national borders between countries will disappear because of the becoming more mobile population. While this idea is true to a certain extent, I partly disagree with this opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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