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Describe a time you heard someone singing

Describe a time you heard someone singing ewG6A
To be frank, I’m a die-hard fan of pop music. And I’m fond of listening to BTS's songs. Their music is simply the best! I remember the time when I heard their song for the first time. The name of the song is Spring day. It is a catchy song and the lyrics have a lot of meaning. The song is really great that's why it makes my mood better. I like to hum the melodies and sing along with the music of this song. It's music to my ears.
To be frank, I’m a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
fan of pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. And I’m fond of listening to BTS's songs. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
simply
the best! I remember the time when I heard their song for the
first
time. The name of the song is Spring day. It is a catchy song and the lyrics have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
meaning. The song is
really
great that's why it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
my mood better. I like to hum the melodies and sing along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of this song. It's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to my ears.
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IELTS essay Describe a time you heard someone singing

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
90 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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