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Is it good to have fame at a very young age?

Is it good to have fame at a very young age? Ql8Px
Some people argue that in a foreseeable future we will no longer visit malls mainly for shopping, and that most of us will treat them as a popular destination for entertainment. While shopping malls are filled with a myriad of recreational options, I do not believe that people will mainly choose these places for entertainment rather than shopping in the coming years. On the one hand, most shopping malls are now becoming more appealing with diverse options for having fun. First, people may experience the time in shopping malls therapeutic and relaxing. For example, they can immerse themselves in the pleasant ambiance and melodious background music during the shopping spree, and spending time having an acupuncture or massage session at a healthcare centre located within the mall is also enjoyable. Moreover, shopping malls also serve as a wonderful place for people to socialize and engage in their own hobbies. These buildings usually feature numerous entertaining facilities, including movie theatres, gaming zones, childrens play areas and are also filled with several eating options to suit every budget, like restaurants, diners and food courts. However, I disagree with the idea that in the future people will no longer visit malls for shopping. The reason lies in the fact that these buildings are designed to offer convenience to the shoppers in a sense that little distance to travel between each store seems to be the game changer, especially when people have a long shopping list to buy in a rush. Additionally, shopping at a mall allows the buyer to check out the product packaging and receive personalized attention from sales staff, then avoid the embarrassing incidents that may occur during online shopping. For example, when the quality of the product received is not as expected as on the web, the customer may face a troublesome and inflexible return process, and this will generally result in an unsatisfactory shopping experience. Another plus point of shopping malls is that they can enable people to escape the irritating heat and minimize the fear of pick-pocking commonly found at outdoor markets. In conclusion, although shopping malls offer a score of entertaining options for visitors, I believe that they will still serve as a common place for shopping in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that in a foreseeable future we will no longer visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
mainly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, and that most of us will treat them as a popular destination for entertainment. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are filled
with a myriad of recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
, I do not believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
mainly
choose these places for entertainment
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in the coming years.

On the one hand, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming more appealing with diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
for having fun.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may experience the time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
therapeutic and relaxing.
For example
, they can immerse themselves in the pleasant ambiance and melodious background music during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
spree, and spending time having an acupuncture or massage session at a healthcare
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
located within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
is
also
enjoyable.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
also
serve as a wonderful place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to socialize and engage in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hobbies. These buildings
usually
feature numerous entertaining facilities, including movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, gaming zones,
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens play
areas and are
also
filled with several eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
to suit every budget, like restaurants, diners and food courts.

However
, I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that in the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will no longer visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. The reason lies in the fact that these buildings
are designed
to offer convenience to the shoppers in a sense that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
distance to travel between each store seems to be the game changer,
especially
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
list to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
in a rush.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the buyer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
out the product packaging and receive personalized attention from sales staff, then avoid the embarrassing incidents that may occur during online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
For example
, when the quality of the product received is not as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
as on the web, the customer may face a troublesome and inflexible return process, and this will
generally
result in an unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience. Another plus point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
is that they can enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to escape the irritating heat and minimize the fear of pick-pocking
commonly
found at outdoor markets.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
offer a score of entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
for visitors, I believe that they will
still
serve as a common place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in the future.
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IELTS essay Is it good to have fame at a very young age?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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