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Is it better to start your own business rather than work for a company?

Is it better to start your own business rather than work for a company? 3Ygdd
Nowadays, more and more people feel up to start up a business instead of being an employee for a firm. There are lots of great opportunities for entrepreneurs in 4. 0 Industry. Some, however, are sastified with a normal job. To begin with, getting a well-paid job is always easier and more secure than running a company. You spend 8 hours per day in office or factory and going home without apprehension or worry. Then, you get your regular salary. On the other hand, the successful businessmen are often wealthy because they are extremely good at making money with business activities such as services, real estate, investment. For many, moreover, being self-employed is their passion which gives them job satisfaction. In addition, some have more spare time with a night-to-five job normally. Therefore, they can spend that time travelling, chilling with their family and friends. In contrast, the owners often feel overwhelming because of having had heavy workload for a long time. In conclusion, in my view, for most of us, applying a job in a company or firm is better choice. Besides, start-up is really challenging but interesting for ambitous people.
Nowadays, more and more
people
feel up to
start
up a business
instead
of being an employee for a firm. There are lots of great opportunities for entrepreneurs in 4. 0 Industry.
Some
,
however
, are
sastified
with a normal job.

To
begin
with, getting a well-paid
job
is always easier and more secure than running a
company
. You spend 8 hours per day in office or factory and going home without apprehension or worry. Then, you
get
your regular salary.

On the other hand
, the successful businessmen are
often
wealthy
because
they are
extremely
good
at making money with business activities such as services, real estate, investment. For
many
,
moreover
, being self-employed is their passion which gives them
job
satisfaction.

In addition
,
some
have more spare time with a night-to-five
job
normally
.
Therefore
, they can spend that time travelling, chilling with their family and friends.
In contrast
, the owners
often
feel overwhelming
because
of having had heavy workload for a long time.

In conclusion
, in my view, for most of us, applying a
job
in a
company
or firm is better choice.
Besides
,
start
-up is
really
challenging
but
interesting for
ambitous
people
.

IELTS essay Is it better to start your own business rather than work for a company?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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