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Is it better for young people to listen to advice from their parents or from their friends

Is it better for young people to listen to advice from their parents or from their friends l78Rw
Listening to advice from their friends is better than listening from their parents for three main reasons. Firstly, Friends understand each other. In young people's lives, they spend a lot more time at school or university than at home. Consequently, They know what advice their friends want and they can give true advice to their friends. Secondly, Most young people have the same situation. Their age is in the same range. So, it's easy to talk and they can ask or help their friends' problems. On the other hand, parents can't help their children enough because their problem is not the same with their children. Although Parents were children in the past, the problem has changed from time to time. And the last reason, Most young people are too close with their friends. Children like to talk with the person the same age or people that understand what they want to say. Due to the fact, Children spend their life with friends too much. If they have some problem at school, they will ask for help or some advice from their friend for the first person because parents don't understand them for some problem. In conclusion, listening to advice from their friends is better than listening from their parents because friends understand them, stay in the same situations, and the relationship is too close with young people.
Listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is better than listening from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for three main reasons.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
each other. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, they spend a lot more time at school or university than at home.
Consequently
, They know what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
want and
they can give true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Secondly
, Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the same situation. Their age is in the same range.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it's easy to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
talk and
they can ask or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their friends'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
On the other hand
,
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parents
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is not the same with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Although
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Parents
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the past, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from time to time. And the last reason, Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too close with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
like to talk with the person the same age or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
what they want to say. Due to the fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
spend their life with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
too much. If they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
at school, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
for the
first
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
them for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
In conclusion
, listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is better than listening from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
them, stay in the same situations, and the relationship is too close with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Is it better for young people to listen to advice from their parents or from their friends

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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