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Is death penalty justifiable for violent offenders?

Is death penalty justifiable for violent offenders? qkn6P
It is thought that death penalty is justifiable for violent offenders. Some people don’t have good feeling about this death penalty because its actually killing people but I agree with this death penalty. First of all, I believed that violent offenders should face a penalty for their crimes. They killed or use violence on someone who’s innocent and they deserve to be treated as victim do. For example no matter how much you killed it is going to be life imprisonment in Japan. It seems like heavy punishment but they can still eat and live until they die and prison use our tax to keep offenders live and its not worth it so death penalty should be accepted. Secondly, death penalty system is good and meaningful things to do but country can use that alive human to experiment. A lot of country use animals to test or experiment that human uses like make up, so maybe they can use guilty human to test and experiment. So there will be no animal experimentation and violent offenders will be punished in a way that is not waste. To conclude, I strongly believe that violent offenders should face a penalty for their crimes because they need to know how the crime is worse and bad thing. They need to learn form the lesson how bad is violent crime is.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is justifiable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don’t have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
feeling about this death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its actually killing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this death penalty.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
should face a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. They killed or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
violence on someone
Did you mean "whose"?
who’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
innocent and
they deserve to
be treated
as victim do.
For example
no matter how much you killed it is going to be life imprisonment in Japan. It seems like heavy punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
still
eat and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
until they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
and prison
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our tax to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
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offenders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and its not worth it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.

Secondly
, death
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penalty
system is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and meaningful things to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
country can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that alive human to experiment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
animals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
or experiment that human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
maybe they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
guilty human to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
and experiment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there will be no animal experimentation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
will
be punished
in a way
that is
not waste.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
should face a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need to know how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is worse and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing. They need to learn form the lesson how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is.

IELTS essay Is death penalty justifiable for violent offenders?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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