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introducing my self and my parent

introducing my self and my parent 7W3l2
My name is Nguyen Thu Hoai. I’m 22 years old and I’m single. I live in Ho Chi Minh city and have just graduated from X university in August with the major in Accounting. I’ve got 3 months experience as an intern at A company. I like reading books and cooking. I’m a careful and hard-working person. I’m eager to learn new things and willing to work in team. I easily adapt to new working environment and take initiative in work.
My name is Nguyen Thu
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoai
. I’m 22 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and I’m single. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Ho Chi Minh city
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
graduated from X university in August with the major in Accounting.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
’ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
3 months experience as an intern at A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
like reading books and cooking.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
’m a careful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working person.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
’m eager to learn new things and willing to work in team.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
easily
adapt to new working environment and take initiative in work.
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IELTS essay introducing my self and my parent

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
81 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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