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Introduce yourself to a program

Introduce yourself to a program pK2xy
Hello, my name is Hoang Nguyen Thien Trang, I am 16 years old now and am a student at Thai Phien school, Da Nang city. I love reading, dancing, singing and especially playing musical instruments: guitar and piano in my free time. My hobby and passion is learning languages, except for my mother tongue, I can speak Italian, English and a little bit of French. The reason why i think this program fits me because i am a person who enjoy and love to
Hello, my name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoang
Nguyen
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thien
Possible spelling mistake found.
Trang
, I am 16 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and am a student at Thai
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phien
school,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
city. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
reading, dancing, singing and
especially
playing musical instruments: guitar and piano in my free time. My hobby and passion is learning languages,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
my mother tongue, I can speak Italian, English and a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of French. The reason why
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this program fits me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am a person who enjoy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to

IELTS essay Introduce yourself to a program

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
83 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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