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International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places Yyw9Q
Tourism can affect a tremendous profit to state, people or place. I strongly agree with the statement and I will explain the reasons why. Firstly, tourism encouraged economic growth and enhanced higher standard of living. For example, it provides job opportunities for local people. Besides that, tourism help to preserve and revive cultures, crafts and traditional lifestyles. For illustrate, each nation or country has their own peculiar customs or traditions, these are unfamiliar and exciting for other nations. Travelling helps to observe another nation 's traditions. Finally, travel opens minds and broaden horizons of tourists. Because they like to go to sightseeing, to visit monuments and take photos during the travel. Furthermore, they usually taste new cuisine of other nations. It is very enjoyable and amazing for them, also they can go swimming and sunbathing. As a result of these kind of experience and events, tourists can relax, have fun and recharge their batteries. I do appreciate that, tourism can negative impact to the environment through the behavior of tourists. Nevertheless, I think that, tourism is profitable for country or people. The positive sides of tourism are higher than negative sides of travelling. Tourism is vital for many state's economy over the world. It helps to prevent the disappearance of nations traditions, arts and customs. Additionally, tourism is beneficial for people, for instance, as a result of travel, people's mentality or perception will be change.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
can affect a tremendous profit to state,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or place. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons why.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
encouraged economic growth and enhanced higher standard of living.
For example
, it provides job opportunities for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to preserve and revive cultures, crafts and traditional lifestyles. For illustrate, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
or country has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
peculiar customs or traditions, these are unfamiliar and exciting for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Travelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to observe another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
's traditions.
Finally
, travel opens minds and broaden horizons of tourists.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they like to go to sightseeing, to visit monuments and take photos during the travel.
Furthermore
, they
usually
taste new cuisine of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enjoyable and amazing for them,
also
they can go swimming and sunbathing.
As a result
of
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, tourists can relax, have fun and recharge their batteries.

I do appreciate that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact to the environment through the behavior of tourists.
Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is profitable for country or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
are higher than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of travelling.

Tourism is vital for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "states"?
state's
economy over the world. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
traditions, arts and customs.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for instance
,
as a result
of travel,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mentality or perception will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
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IELTS essay International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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