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International music events are a good way way to create friendships between cultures. To what extent do you agree with this.

International music events are a good way way to create friendships between cultures. Kw3VN
Global music functions are a good method to breed friendliness amongst cultures. In my opinion, I agree that musical concerts creates socialibilty between different cultures. Therefore, this essay will expantiate on this view. To begin with, universal music functions are often conducted as concerts where different Nationalities come together and socialize. This, would create a friendly bond amongst participants because it is an avenue to meet new people, exchange contacts and sicail media handles. For instance, a Nigerian has a Ghanaian friend whom he met during a musical festival, thus, recently he travelled to Ghana for a programme and was hosted by his friend. In addition, worldwide gig would promote business relationship amongst individuals from different countries. Those who attend events may have investment discussions, consequently, this would promote partnership. To illustrate, recently worship experience was held at Lagos State, several delegates were in attendance and a Mexican was opportuned to meet and share business ideas with a Chinese, thus, a relationship was created. In conclusion, musical festivals promotes friendliness amongst different countries because bonding is improved and investment connections can be achieved through it.
Global music functions are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method to breed friendliness amongst cultures. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that musical concerts creates
Possible spelling mistake found.
socialibilty
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures.
Therefore
, this essay will
Possible spelling mistake found.
expantiate
on this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
universal music
functions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
conducted as concerts where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Nationalities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together and socialize. This, would create a friendly bond amongst participants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is an avenue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, exchange contacts and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sicail
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
handles
.
For instance
, a Nigerian has a Ghanaian friend whom he met during a musical festival,
thus
, recently he travelled to Ghana for a
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
and
was hosted
by his friend.

In addition
, worldwide gig would promote business relationship amongst individuals from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries. Those who attend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
may have investment discussions,
consequently
, this would promote partnership. To illustrate, recently worship experience
was held
at Lagos State, several delegates were in attendance and a Mexican was
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportuned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and share business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with a Chinese,
thus
, a relationship
was created
.

In conclusion
, musical festivals promotes friendliness amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
bonding is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and investment connections can
be achieved
through it.
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IELTS essay International music events are a good way way to create friendships between cultures.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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