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Integrated Essay.the reading passage encourage the idea of legalized marijuana because it will bring many advantages to the government, while the lecture refutes this idea.

Integrated Essay. the reading passage encourage the idea of legalized marijuana because it will bring many advantages to the government, while the lecture refutes this idea. jR1B1
The article states that legalize marijuana will benefit the American government in many ways and provides three reasons of support. However the professor explains that what mentioned in the reading passage is wrong completely and refutes each of the authors’ reasons. First, the reading claims that the taxes revenue from selling and trading marijuana which is about 40 to 100 $ is a huge amount that can help the government for paying its national debts. The professor refutes this point by saying that the amount of buying marijuana is not big as the author said, it just like a pocket money for government. She states that buying of gasoline about 5 cents per gallon will be more efficient to increase the returns of government. Second, the article posits that if the marijuana is allowable the rate of crime will reduce, so the police can focus on others problems. However, the professor says that in case of permitting the marijuana the violent and aggression will increase and become out of control. Third, the reading says that the person in the United States has right to so what he wants and taking marijuana is personal liberty as drinking alcohol and etc. it’s the choice of the person to poison himself. The professor opposes that point by explaining that many countries addicted too many drug, it’s their personal liberty. But when we add a gasoline to the fire that will burn everything and the drug problem became out of control and difficult to solve it
The article states that legalize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marijuana
will benefit the American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways and provides three reasons of support.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
that what mentioned in the reading passage is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
completely and refutes each of the authors’ reasons.

First
, the reading claims that the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "taxes'" or "tax's", "taxis's"?
taxes
revenue from selling and trading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marijuana
which is about 40 to
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$100".
100 $
is a huge amount that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for paying its national debts. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
refutes this point by saying that the amount of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marijuana
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
as the author said, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "pocket money".
a pocket money
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. She states that buying of gasoline about 5 cents per gallon will be more efficient to increase the returns of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Second, the article posits that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marijuana
is allowable the rate of crime will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the police can focus on others problems.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
says that in case of permitting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marijuana
the violent and aggression will increase and become out of control.

Third, the reading says that the person in the United States has right to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
what he wants and taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marijuana
is personal liberty as drinking alcohol
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. it’s the choice of the person to poison himself. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
opposes that point by explaining that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries addicted too
Possible agreement error. The noun drug seems to be countable; consider using: "many drugs".
many drug
, it’s their personal liberty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a gasoline to the fire that will burn everything and the drug problem became out of control and difficult to solve
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
it
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IELTS essay Integrated Essay. the reading passage encourage the idea of legalized marijuana because it will bring many advantages to the government, while the lecture refutes this idea.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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