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Inspiration for Health Data Science Education

Inspiration for Health Data Science Education AJWax
Over the past 18 years, I have been used to the Thai public health system. However, it is not mean that I come from being a family with parents working in public health. but I am the son of a merchant and an ordinary farmer who often volunteer to keep vigil over a sick and take my relatives to the hospital regularly. From this role and function, I can see the problems that arise in the Thai public health system. For those reasons, it is an inspiration for me to solve these problems. Moreover, I touched on the importance of the word "data" which is data analytics from online sales during the COVID-19 pandemic, and of course, it is very influential in the economic field. Therefore, I strongly believe that Health Data is an important tool for development. and solve the problems of the Thai public health system. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to live in both the urban and rural areas where have brought me to see a wide variety of problems, such as dissatisfaction with the services of government hospital staff. When I analyzed the reasons why the officers showed these behaviors. For the reasons, we are undeniable that it is a personal trait. However, I think that is a small part, looking deeper into the problem it was found that it may be due to the system that is not favorable to a large number of service users nowadays. For instance, it has long queues to be diagnosed by the doctor. For this problem, I believe that a queue system might be helpful. In rural areas, there may be a system that allows subdistrict health-promoting hospitals to provide queue services for the patients. Moreover, many people and especially elderly person have a harder opportunity to have a medical examination at the hospital during the COVID-19 pandemic in the rural areas. So I thought that we should develop a new platform for patients to be diagnosed with doctors online at the subdistrict health-promoting hospital, and have public health officers who can provide basic assistance, such as the use of devices developed to listen to the sounds in the body, and then the sound will show to the doctor who is diagnosing in another area. In addition, I have the opportunity to do research. As a result, I learned that data is the most important thing in completing research. Certainly, the development of health systems will occur if we have comprehensive information that shows the trend of the problem, and apply technology to help the development simultaneously. Therefore, from a dream and ideology that I want to work in the Ministry of Public Health, and want to be a developer of the Thai public health industry to be better. And I am sure that the educational content from health data science will result in me being able to have the opportunity to develop an efficient public health system because of the knowledge of technical data, management methods, and human health will result in understanding and knowledge to solve the development of the accurate problems that Thai people will be able to have good health whether physically, mentally, intellectually, or socially. Most importantly, I had the opportunity to study at the Princess Chulabhorn Science High School where focuses on science and technology for social development as well as HRH Princess Chulabhorn College of Medical Science and King Mongkut's University of Technology Thonburi where I strongly believe that at the end of the course of study I can become an effective health data scientist from the efficiency of both universities.
Over the past 18 years, I have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
However
, it is not mean that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from being a family with parents working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Use a comma before 'but' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
but
I am the son of a merchant and an ordinary farmer who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
volunteer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
vigil over a sick and take my relatives to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
regularly
. From this role and function, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that arise in the Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. For those reasons, it is an inspiration for me to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Moreover
, I touched on the importance of the word
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
data
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analytics from online sales during the COVID-19 pandemic, and
of course
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
influential in the economic field.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of the Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
system.

Fortunately
, I had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in both the urban and rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where have brought me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, such as dissatisfaction with the services of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
staff. When I analyzed the reasons why the officers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
these behaviors. For the reasons, we are undeniable that it is a personal trait.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part, looking deeper into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
it
was found
that it may be due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
that is
not favorable to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
service users nowadays.
For instance
, it has long queues to
be diagnosed
by the doctor. For this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, I believe that a queue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
might be helpful. In rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, there may be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
Possible spelling mistake found.
subdistrict
health-promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
to provide queue services for the patients.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
especially
elderly person have a harder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to have a medical examination at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
during the COVID-19 pandemic in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that we should develop a new platform for patients to
be diagnosed
with doctors online at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
subdistrict
health-promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
, and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
officers who can provide basic assistance, such as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of devices developed to listen to the sounds in the body, and then the sound will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
to the doctor who is diagnosing in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
In addition
, I have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to do research.
As a result
, I learned that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in completing research.
Certainly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
will occur if we have comprehensive information that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the trend of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, and apply technology to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
simultaneously
.

Therefore
, from a dream and ideology that I want to work in the Ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
, and want to be a developer of the Thai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
industry to be better. And I am sure that the educational content from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
will result in me being able to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to develop an efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the knowledge of technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
, management methods, and human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will result in understanding and knowledge to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that Thai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be able to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
whether
physically
, mentally,
intellectually
, or
socially
. Most
importantly
, I had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to study at the Princess
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chulabhorn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
High School where focuses on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology for social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
as well
as HRH Princess
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chulabhorn
College of Medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and King
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mongkut
's University of Technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thonburi
where I
strongly
believe that at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the course of study I can become an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
scientist from the efficiency of both universities.
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IELTS essay Inspiration for Health Data Science Education

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
599 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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