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Industrialisation expands as technology advances, resulting in a deluge of pollutants in the areas of air, water, soil, and noise. They also affect animals, birds, and humans, causing a variety of health issues

Industrialisation expands as technology advances, resulting in a deluge of pollutants in the areas of air, water, soil, and noise. They also affect animals, birds, and humans, causing a variety of health issues e8XeJ
With the advancement of technology, industrialisation grows, resulting in a slew of pollution in the areas of air, water, soil, and noise. They also cause a variety of health problems in animals, birds, and humans. This essay will discuss about how technology can be affect of air pollution. Also, pros and cons of technology with some reasons. Poisonous gas which effect of humanity healthy also can effect for animals. Despite technology help for people in live, people addicted consume of internet as a result people become less of activity. Firstly, modern technology provides a better opportunity for people to live easily and conveniently. Using a car is faster than taking a walk or ride a bicycle to tend to be more convenient. However, since the technology produce from fossil fuels and different kinds of unhealthy resouses. So that, when we use the technology, it can be cause of nature suffers. Furthermore, poisonous gas which has the majority of unhealthy means, such as, carbon monoxide, chlorine, nitrogen dioxide. These substances can have a bad effect on human and animal health. It can cause of deadly disease including chronic respiratory disease, repeated respiratory infections, or death. Extensive eye exposure can cause permant blindness.
With the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
grows, resulting in a slew of pollution in the areas of air, water, soil, and noise. They
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
a variety of health problems in animals, birds, and humans.

This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss how"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be affect of air pollution.
Also
, pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. Poisonous gas which effect of humanity healthy
also
can effect for animals. Despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted consume of internet
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become less of activity.

Firstly
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides a better opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
easily
and
conveniently
. Using a car is faster than taking a walk or ride a bicycle to tend to be more convenient.
However
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
produce from fossil fuels and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of unhealthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
resouses
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, it can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of nature suffers.
Furthermore
, poisonous gas which has the majority of unhealthy means, such as, carbon monoxide, chlorine, nitrogen dioxide. These substances can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on human and animal health. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of deadly disease including chronic respiratory disease, repeated respiratory infections, or death. Extensive eye exposure can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
permant
blindness.
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IELTS essay Industrialisation expands as technology advances, resulting in a deluge of pollutants in the areas of air, water, soil, and noise. They also affect animals, birds, and humans, causing a variety of health issues

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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