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Individuals should not be allowed to carry guns

Individuals should not be allowed to carry guns A59M
In US possession of gun is a civil right guarantee by constitution. This right embodies security and freedom. In Poland holding a gun is not popular. In my country the right to possession a gun has civil services like police and army. I would like to explain why easy access to weapons for individuals is dangerous. First of all, I think that possession of weapons should be only on the basis of a permit. In Poland, obtaining a permit to own a gun is preceded by a long administrative procedure during which the candidate undergoes psychiatric examination. This allows other people to be guaranteed that the person at risk will not receive an additional tool with which will be able to harm other people. Secondly, the weapon is unsafe tool which should be properly secured. If the weapon is not secured can be used by a person without training or knowledges of its operations for instance by a child. This child can gun down themselves or another person. What is more, widespread permission to possess a weapon is an indirect acceptance of its use. Violence should not be promoted and accepted. The government should guarantee their citizens safety without necessarily to owning a gun at home. There is no doubt about it that the people rights are different depending on country’s culture. I understand the need of Americans to own a gun, but I am growing up in country where citizen does not need easy access to gun to be safe and I feel comfortably knowing that only trained people have access to weapons in Poland.
In US possession of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
is a civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
guarantee by constitution. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
embodies security and freedom. In Poland holding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
is not popular. In my country the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to possession a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
has civil services like police and army. I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
for individuals is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that possession of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the basis of a permit. In Poland, obtaining a permit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
is preceded
by a long administrative procedure during which the candidate undergoes psychiatric examination. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
be guaranteed
that the person at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
will not receive an additional tool with which will be able to harm other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapon
is unsafe tool which should be
properly
secured. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapon
is not secured can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by a person without training or
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
of its operations
for instance
by a child. This child can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
down themselves or another person.

What is more
, widespread permission to possess a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapon
is an indirect acceptance of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Violence should not
be promoted
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should guarantee their citizens safety without
necessarily
to owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
at home.

There is no doubt about it that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
depending on country’s culture. I understand the need of Americans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am growing up in country where citizen does not need easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
to be safe and I feel
comfortably
knowing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
trained
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
in Poland.
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IELTS essay Individuals should not be allowed to carry guns

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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