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Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 4: Agree or disagree: In twenty years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 4: Agree or disagree: In twenty years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Nowadays, Governments, environmentalists, organizations, in many courtesies are putting their efforts to curb the environmental issues and transmit the awareness among people how they can contribute to environmental issues. Surprisingly, our diet habits and daily lifestyle are marking impact on environmental issues, hence individuals should take the pledge to diminish the damage along with governments and organizations to the surroundings. Firstly, Our climate is becoming outrageous gradually. In these days it is impossible to preserve the environment without educating the ordinary people. Individually, we are constantly contributing to air pollution, global warming, water pollution, and climate change. It is well known that the cars which are the cause to raise air pollution because their engines emit co2 in the air and the dresses we wear requires a huge amount of water and fiber can increase the possibility of climate change. Therefore Governments and Companies should make cognizant of their actions to release individuals' responsibilities towards environment protection. Climate change is a serious problem so Governments, Organizations, and individuals need to work together to find the solution. Coordinated efforts are required. It is undeniable that Countries have taken the steps to control the issue of the environment. Global programs and Meetings have been organized to aware of the harmful efforts of climate change. Restrictions have been placed on plastic bottles, bags, gas emissions. Finally, scientists, engineers should come out with a proposal to invest money on environmental issues. Every environmental issue is related to human lifestyle and unconsciousness so it is peak time to include this issue in our school syllabus. In Conclusion, we have got one plant to live so we should make efforts to save it because whatever we will do it will give it in return. I strongly believe that A joint approach by authorizes and Mass people can make our environment safe and healthy.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
, environmentalists, organizations, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
courtesies are putting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
to curb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and transmit the awareness among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
how they can contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
Surprisingly
, our diet habits and daily lifestyle are marking impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
hence
individuals should take the pledge to diminish the damage along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and organizations to the surroundings.

Firstly
, Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
is becoming outrageous
gradually
. In these days it is impossible to preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
without educating the ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Individually
, we are
constantly
contributing to air pollution, global warming, water pollution, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. It is well known that the cars which are the cause to raise air pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their engines emit co2 in the air and the dresses we wear requires a huge amount of water and fiber can increase the possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
cognizant of their actions to release individuals' responsibilities towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
protection.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is a serious problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
, Organizations, and individuals need to work together to find the solution. Coordinated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
are required
.

It is undeniable that Countries have taken the steps to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Global programs and Meetings have
been organized
to aware of the harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. Restrictions have
been placed
on plastic bottles, bags, gas emissions.
Finally
, scientists, engineers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out with a proposal to invest money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is related
to human lifestyle and unconsciousness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is peak time to include this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
in our school syllabus.

In Conclusion
, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
one plant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
to save it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
whatever we will do it will give it in return. I
strongly
believe that A joint approach by authorizes and Mass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
safe and healthy.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 4: Agree or disagree: In twenty years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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