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Increasing the price of cigarettes is the best way to solve growing smoking problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Today, there are a lot of people in our environment become a smoker. I believe that the best solution that we can do to reduce the number of smokers is by increase the cigarettes prices, while other think that it is not. Some people argue that affordable cigarettes price become the main problem, and it is supposed to be have more price than before. Since the number of smoker is dominated by young people who have a little amount of money, they still can buy the cigarettes. For instance, school student who has given the allowance by their parents tend to buy cigarettes in their school canteen, because the seller sell it with cheaply. In the other hand, some people believe that the cigarette should be limited only for those who have more money, and it is should be banned for young people. The smoke itself has worse effect to human respiratory, so he ternager should be avoid it since they still have a health lungs. For example, those who have more money usually works day and night to get they wealth, and it is fine if they want to release their stress using cigarettes, but it is have no reason for young people to smoke. In conclusion, the cigarette price must be increased, and the smoker should be limited for those have more income, then the younger will have no money to buy it. But, if it is you, will you still become a smoker if the prices has already increased?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our environment become a smoker. I believe that the best solution that we can do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of smokers is by increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
, while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
become the main problem, and it
is supposed
to be
Consider using either the past participle “had” or the present participle “having” here.
have
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Since the number of smoker
is dominated
by young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they
still
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
.
For instance
, school student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the allowance by their parents tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
in their school canteen,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the seller sell it with
cheaply
.

In the other hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
should
be limited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and
It seems that only one verb should be used here.
it is should
be banned
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The smoke itself has worse effect to human respiratory,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
Possible spelling mistake found.
ternager
should be
Consider using the past participle “avoided”.
avoid
it since they
still
have
The plural noun “lungs” cannot be used with the article “a”.
a health lungs
.
For example
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
usually
works day and night to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun ‘they’. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they wealth
, and it is fine if they want to release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
Consider using either the past participle “had” or the present participle “having” here.
have
no reason for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to smoke.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be increased
, and the smoker should
be limited
for those have more income, then the younger will have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if it is you, will you
still
become a smoker if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
has already increased?
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IELTS essay Increasing the price of cigarettes is the best way to solve growing smoking problems. What other measures do you think might be effective?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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