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Income of the city must be allocated wisely in term of infrastructure. Construct the spectacular building is very essential. However, citizens need schools and hospitals.

Income of the city must be allocated wisely in term of infrastructure. Construct the spectacular building is very essential. However, citizens need schools and hospitals. o55EX
Income of the city must be allocated wisely in term of infrastructure. Construct the spectacular building is very essential. However, citizens need schools and hospitals. Those three things should be talk about. Government builds the grand constructions for many purposes. First, it provides solutions for a city to solve economy problems. For example, many businessmen can enlarge their business in a large, complete building like a mall and a showroom. Second, it answers the demand of accommodation. Some people can live in a housing area. Third, an impressive building is an appropriate place to organize many offices into one area. For instance, all government offices in Timika are placed in one address. Another proportion of using money is setting up schools. Everyone needs education for their life. If there is no place for formal studying, it will raise some risks. In my experience, there is no school in few remote areas, in Papua. So children must go to the town for learning. Then what will happen? Some of them cannot go to the town. It means that they cannot study, writing and reading as well. In addition, city’s income should be shared for health side too. It is necessary to build hospitals. Society will get medicine and take care at the hospital. If there is no hospital, society will feel a huge worry when they are getting sick, having an accident, delivering their baby and many other things related to the safety and health. Unfortunately, hospitals are not available in all area of city. Such as in Ilaga, there is no hospital over there. I have sad story about having malaria in Ilaga. Suddenly, I shacked and felt very cold. Then, I visited public health centre (puskesmas) but no drugs and very limited tools to help me at that time. It was so scared. I had to go to the hospital at town. Unfortunately, the flight should be tomorrow morning. All day I felt like almost die. In conclusion, spend money for constructing impressive building, schools and hospitals are very important. Each part has their roles and functions. I think it is hard to decide which one is more vital to do first. It is dilemma. The main point is the best infrastructure should consider public interest.
Income of the city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be allocated
wisely
in term of infrastructure. Construct the spectacular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential.
However
, citizens need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
. Those three things should be talk about.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
builds the grand constructions for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purposes.
First
, it provides solutions for a city to solve economy problems.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
businessmen can enlarge their business in a large, complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
like a mall and a showroom. Second, it answers the demand of accommodation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. Third, an impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is an appropriate place to organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
offices into one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
For instance
, all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offices in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Timika
are placed
in one address.

Another proportion of using money is setting up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Everyone needs education for their life. If there is no place for formal studying, it will raise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. In my experience, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in few remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Papua
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go to the town for learning. Then what will happen?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them cannot go to the town. It means that they cannot study, writing and reading
as well
.

In addition
, city’s income should
be shared
for health side too. It is necessary to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
. Society will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medicine and take care at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
. If there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
, society will feel a huge worry when they are getting sick, having an accident, delivering their baby and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things related to the safety and health. Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
are not available in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of city. Such as in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ilaga
, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
over there. I have
Did you mean "said"?
sad
story about having malaria in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ilaga
.
Suddenly
, I shacked and felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
. Then, I visited public health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
puskesmas
)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no drugs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited tools to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me at that time. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
scared. I had to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
at town. Unfortunately, the flight should be tomorrow morning. All day I felt like almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.

In conclusion
, spend money for constructing impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Each part has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
roles and functions. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to decide which one is more vital to do
first
. It is dilemma. The main point is the best infrastructure should consider public interest.
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IELTS essay Income of the city must be allocated wisely in term of infrastructure. Construct the spectacular building is very essential. However, citizens need schools and hospitals.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
377 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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