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In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family?

In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family? joOk8
Today, extended family is becoming less popular than in the past. In my opinion, while there have certainly been benefits, the inconveniences a big family has brought about should not be overlooked. And both will be outlined below. On the one hand, living in an extended family, each member can get the enjoyment of spending time with their loved ones. Not only elderly people but also children may become lonely and isolated if they live alone. Children have someone to play with, share interests and secrets, which allows children to have greater ease of relating to other people. What’s more, family members can help out and look after each other. When a member is sick or gets into trouble with his work or life, he gets more care and advice that help him be more confident. On the other hand, in a quiverful family, it is impossible for parents to give individual attention to every child. Parents often bear a large part of financial burden, so taking care of all offspring carefully is impracticable. Children who don’t get good education from their parents may be social burden or even involved in crime. Moreover, should the breadwinner be not a high-income earner, there is the problem of funds to support the family. A family with one child spends less on food, clothes, and other necessities, compared with one with ten children needs much more. To make the matter worse, in case the house is small, family members have little privacy. It is easy to get access to other's privacy when all relatives live together, which is especially unwelcome when it involves beneficial conflicts. In conclusion, while i can accept that extended family can sometimes have a positive effect on people’s life, I believe that it more likely to have a detrimental impact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is becoming less popular than in the past. In my opinion, while there have
certainly
been benefits, the inconveniences a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has brought about should not
be overlooked
. And both will
be outlined
below.

On the one hand, living in an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
the enjoyment of spending time with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may become lonely and isolated if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
have someone to play with, share interests and secrets, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of relating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. What’s more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
out and look after each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
is sick or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
into trouble with his work or life, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
more care and advice that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him be more confident.

On the
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other
hand, in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
quiverful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, it is impossible for parents to give individual attention to every child. Parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
bear a large part of financial burden,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
taking care of all offspring
carefully
is impracticable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education from their parents may be social burden or even involved in crime.
Moreover
, should the breadwinner be not a high-income earner, there is the problem of funds to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with one child spends less on food, clothes, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
necessities, compared with one with ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
needs much more. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the matter worse, in case the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
privacy. It is easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
access to other's privacy when all relatives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together, which is
especially
unwelcome when it involves beneficial conflicts.

In conclusion
, while
Did you mean "I"?
i
can accept that extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life, I believe that
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
more likely to have a detrimental impact
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IELTS essay In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a member of a large family?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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