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To what extent technology has changed the way people communicate compared to 30 years ago? In what ways means of communication have changed ?

In what ways means of communication have changed? bboog
Obviously, communication between people has been affected by new technologies. Technology has influenced relations in various ways, and in my view there are both positive and negative influences. It is true that considerable changes have been made by technology, a lot of methods still remain unchanged. Sending letters is a common way among officials to get the other aware of a critical issue. in addition, a lot of classified files are being kept in paper due to low security of modern gadgets. Fortunately, some ways such as communicating by telephone or meeting acquaintances face-to-face are common throughout people which is avoiding destructive effects of using new technological devices. Take teenagers an example, by using the Internet excessively, rate of depression among them have increased recently. Some significant features have been brought to human’s life by technological improvements which make people’s communication more convenient. In this complicated world which people’s time are limited due to the fact that various tasks should be managed by them. Different fast ways like texting or making video calls are better alternatives than meeting face-to-face which takes a lot of time. in addition, nowadays money comes first, these methods are considerably cheaper than outdated ways like sending letters. However, impressive changes can be seen in different fields specifically in communication by technological advances, loneliness and less intimacy are the consequences of it. Rate of depression has risen rather than 30 years ago which is caused by having more virtual communication. Using excessive new methods are harmful for human being since, naturally human need to be in the society and make real contractions. In conclusion, technology has certainly revolutionized communication between people, but not all of the outcomes of this revolution have been positive.
Obviously
,
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communication
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has influenced relations in various
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ways
, and in my view there are both
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positive
and
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negative
influences.

It is true that considerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have
been made
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
methods
still
remain unchanged. Sending letters is a common
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way
among officials to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the other aware of a critical issue.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
classified files are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in paper due to low security of modern gadgets.
Fortunately
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
such as communicating by telephone or meeting acquaintances face-to-face are common throughout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which is avoiding destructive effects of using new technological devices. Take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
an example, by using the Internet
excessively
, rate of depression among them have increased recently.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
significant features have
been brought
to human’s life by technological improvements which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
more convenient. In this complicated world which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
time
are limited
due to the fact that various tasks should
be managed
by them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
like texting or making video calls are better alternatives than meeting face-to-face which takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition, nowadays money
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comes
first
, these methods are
considerably
cheaper than outdated
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ways
like sending letters.

However
, impressive
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changes
can be
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seen
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields
specifically
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
by technological advances, loneliness and less intimacy are the consequences of it. Rate of depression has risen
rather
than 30 years ago which
is caused
by having more virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. Using excessive new methods are harmful for human being since,
naturally
human need to be in the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
real contractions.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
certainly
revolutionized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
Consider using "all the".
all of the
outcomes of this revolution have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
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IELTS essay In what ways means of communication have changed?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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