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In todays world the pressure of modern life are negatively impacting family life. Do you Agree/Disagree.

In todays world the pressure of modern life are negatively impacting family life. Do you Agree/Disagree. GW9Ex
It is indeed true that due to modernisation the life of an individual is affected adversly. As due to this sometimes family also suffers. However, i am toward the opinion that modern life affects the family inevitably. Thus i firmly, agree with the statement presented. I will justify, my stand in the supporting paragraphs. The first and the foremost reason for supporting the concept of modern life's adverse effect on family is due to fashion purposes as every individual wants to be fashion conscious as some time to buy such extravagant clothing costs an arm and a leg. For instance, sometimes the family budget is disturbed in buying cloths which are not necessary just for the sake of being in the vogue. Another concrete reason behind my opinion is because of peer pressure as they sometimes knowingly or unknowingly do something which has an bad impact on their and the life of their loved ones. Another factor which influence me to support is that food habits. As because of hectic schedule and Nuclear family. To justify this i would quote an example, as due to this both reasons they mostly prefer to eat food outside and due to the unhealthy food the family members suffer with obesity and different health problems. In conclusion, i reiterate that there are innumerable strong factors supporting the point of modern life and its negative effect on life of our loved ones. So there are ample of cons of modern life. Therefore, I totally, agree with the statement presented.
It is
indeed
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of an individual is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
Possible spelling mistake found.
adversly
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
also
suffers.
However
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am toward the opinion that

modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
inevitably
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
i
firmly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement presented. I will justify, my stand in the supporting paragraphs. The
first
and the foremost reason for supporting the concept of modern life's adverse effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to fashion

purposes as every individual wants to be fashion conscious as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such extravagant clothing costs an arm

and a leg.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
budget
is disturbed
in buying cloths which are not necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for

the sake of being in the vogue. Another concrete reason behind my opinion is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of peer pressure as they

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
knowingly
or
unknowingly
do something which has
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on their and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

Another factor which influence me to support is that food habits. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of hectic schedule and Nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To

justify this
Did you mean "I"?
i
would quote an example, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to this both reasons they
mostly
prefer to eat food outside and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the unhealthy food the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members suffer with obesity

and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
health problems.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
reiterate that there are innumerable strong factors supporting the point of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative


effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there are ample of cons of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, I
totally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement presented.
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IELTS essay In todays world the pressure of modern life are negatively impacting family life. Do you Agree/Disagree.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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