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Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? Ka1k
There is no doubt that these days risky activiteis are popular. some of peple think its good trial deserves to try. which I strongly agree with. In this essay I will discuss my opinion. In terms of consider it as a risky game, these activiteis have security tools which make the player safe. sometimes we hear accedients but its little comparing of what happens always, It will not effect on the games rabitation. Its worthy, The good feeling that comes from this new experience will makes you forget the fear of the trial. People who believe its dangerious, they will lose a lot of fun. Moreover, people tend to try new things. Especially teenagers. who love to show their capacitis and try to do new things. It would make them busy. because of Its challenging and unusuall. therefore, general benefits, the stuides shows that people who like adventures they have increased of their temper, health and immunity system to the best. In conclusion, perhaps risky activities would make life person in danger but its good to try and explore
There is no doubt that these days risky
Possible spelling mistake found.
activiteis
are popular.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
peple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trial deserves to try.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with. In this essay I will discuss my opinion.

In terms of consider it as a risky game, these
Possible spelling mistake found.
activiteis
have security tools which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the player safe.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sometimes
we hear
Possible spelling mistake found.
accedients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
comparing of what
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'happens'.
happens always
, It will not
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on the games
Possible spelling mistake found.
rabitation
. Its worthy, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
feeling that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from this new experience will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
makes
you forget the fear of the trial.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who believe its
Possible spelling mistake found.
dangerious
, they will lose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fun.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to try new things.
Especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
capacitis
and try to do new things. It would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them busy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
of Its challenging and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unusuall
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
, general benefits, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
stuides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who like adventures they have increased of their temper, health and immunity system to the best.

In conclusion
, perhaps risky activities would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
life person in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
explore

IELTS essay Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
178 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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