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Your school has received a gift of money. What do you think is the best way for your school to spend that money?

Your school has received a gift of money. What do you think is the best way for your school to spend that money? e582G
Education plays a significant role in students' lives. It is important because it helps students to have a better future. If the people's opinions are going to be considered =, some of them may prefer to spend that money on renewing the classes; others would choose to spend that money on changing the cafeteria. In my view, I believe that school should spend that money on renovating the library for the following essential reasons. First, the references in the library are out of date. In fact, updating the books and providing the library with the cutting-edge computers will positively impact on students. Consequently, students will flourish and succeed in the school. For example, one day when I was in a Pharmacy school, I had an exam in Pharmaceutical technology. Frankly, I had a difficulty understanding the technique of how manufacturing a tablet. Normally, I would ask the professor about that issue, but the professor was not in the college at that day. So, I had to go to the library searching for a book to simplify this topic for me. I found a book, in that book explainign the technigue by measuring only a half of the active ingredients and put it in the oven for at least two hours and then add other ingredients. After I took the test, unfortunately, I did not pass. When I asked the professor about it, he told me that the technique was old and wrong. He added that there were recent studies are saying that this technique is not safe as it release a toxic material. If there were updated books in the libarary, I was able to know this information and pass my test. It is necessary to take care of the school library. Second, it is important to provide students with a clean, well-organized and quiet area to study. As a matter of fact, granting a quiet place for students will motivate them and make them concentrate on their subjects. For instance, one time when I was in a Pharmacy school, I had an exam in Chemistry. Usually, I would go to my home to study which is fifteen miles away, but this time there was a snow storm which made me unable to leave the school. Therefore, I had to go to libarary in order to study for my test. In the libaray, there was no individuals' or group studying rooms so I had to study with other students. There was a group of students studying over there, there were so loud and noisy. I was unable to focus, and I had a difficulty in comprehending my topic. Ultimately, I got D grade in that subject, which in turn lower my overall average. This is a simple example why I want the school to spend the money on library. In conclusion, based on the aspects revealed above, I believe that shcools should taking care of their libraries not only because it helps students find references but also because it grants them a good place to study.
Education plays a significant role in students'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have a better future. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's opinions are going to
be considered
=,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them may prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on renewing the classes; others would choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on changing the cafeteria. In my view, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on renovating the library for the following essential reasons.

First
, the references in the library are out of date. In fact, updating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and providing the library with the cutting-edge computers will
positively
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will flourish and succeed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For example
, one day when I was in a Pharmacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I had an exam in Pharmaceutical technology.
Frankly
, I had a difficulty understanding the technique of how manufacturing a tablet.
Normally
, I would ask the professor about that issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the professor was not in the college at that day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I had to go to the library searching for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
to simplify this topic for me. I found a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
, in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
Possible spelling mistake found.
explainign
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
technigue
by measuring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a half of the active ingredients and put it in the oven for at least two hours and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
other ingredients. After I took the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, unfortunately, I did not pass. When I asked the professor about it, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that the technique was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
that there were recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
are saying that this technique is not safe as it
Did you mean "releases"?
release
a toxic material. If there
were updated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
libarary
, I was able to know this information and pass my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
. It is necessary to take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
library.

Second, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a clean, well-organized and quiet area to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. As a matter of fact, granting a quiet place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will motivate them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them concentrate on their subjects.
For instance
, one time when I was in a Pharmacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I had an exam in Chemistry.
Usually
, I would go to my home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
which is fifteen miles away,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this time there was a snow storm which made me unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Therefore
, I had to go to
Possible spelling mistake found.
libarary
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
. In the
Possible spelling mistake found.
libaray
,
Did you mean "there were no individuals"?
there was no individuals
' or group studying rooms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. There was a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying over there, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
loud and noisy. I was unable to focus, and I had a difficulty in comprehending my topic.
Ultimately
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
D grade in that subject, which in turn lower my
overall
average. This is a simple example why I want the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on library.

In conclusion
, based on the aspects revealed above, I believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
shcools
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "take"
taking
care of their libraries not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
find references
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it grants them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
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IELTS essay Your school has received a gift of money. What do you think is the best way for your school to spend that money?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
506 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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