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In this intensive world, the subject of physical education is dropped by the schools such as business studies. Further, I will represent the importance of sport in the education of youngsters in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are some factors which define the merits of sport in young pupils' study. First and foremost, it is the superior way to acquire relaxation instead of playing games on gadgets due to this, students can make more concentrate on their study as well as, they can also create flexibility in their body which is paramount imperative in order to stay healthy and strong. Moreover, when students play games in the school during the break, they obtain mental break as well, as a consequence, their mind becomes active again to do work. In addition to that, it can be utilized by pupils as a profession after leaving the school as a few youngsters have passion to become a successful person in the sports hence, it is phenomenon opportunity for them to do practice

In this intensive world, the subject of physical education is dropped by the schools such as business studies. Further, I will represent the importance of sport in the education of youngsters in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are some factors which define the merits of sport in young pupils' study. First and foremost, it is the superior way to acquire relaxation instead of playing games on gadgets due to this, students can make more concentrate on their study as well as, they can also create flexibility in their body which is paramount imperative in order to stay healthy and strong. Moreover, when students play games in the school during the break, they obtain mental break as well, as a consequence, their mind becomes active again to do work. In addition to that, it can be utilized by pupils as a profession after leaving the school as a few youngsters have passion to become a successful person in the sports hence, it is phenomenon opportunity for them to do practice YLgWK
In this intensive world, the subject of physical education is dropped by the schools such as business studies. Further, I will represent the importance of sport in the education of youngsters in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are some factors which define the merits of sport in young pupils' study. First and foremost, it is the superior way to acquire relaxation instead of playing games on gadgets due to this, students can make more concentrate on their study as well as, they can also create flexibility in their body which is paramount imperative in order to stay healthy and strong. Moreover, when students play games in the school during the break, they obtain mental break as well, as a consequence, their mind becomes active again to do work. In addition to that, it can be utilized by pupils as a profession after leaving the school as a few youngsters have passion to become a successful person in the sports hence, it is phenomenon opportunity for them to do practice with excellent guidance which is rendered by the coach in the school. In conclusion, physical education has numerous pros not only learners' life also in all stages of masses therefore, government ought to provide knowledge pertaining to sport to pupils so that, they can stay active mentally and physically both.
In this intensive world, the subject of physical education
is dropped
by the schools such as business studies.
Further
, I will represent the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in the education of youngsters in upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors which define the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in young pupils' study.
First
and foremost, it is the superior way to acquire relaxation
instead
of playing games on gadgets due to this, students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more concentrate on their study
as well
as, they can
also
create flexibility in their body which is paramount imperative in order to stay healthy and strong.

Moreover
, when students play games in the school during the break, they obtain mental break
as well
, as a consequence, their mind becomes active again to do work.
In addition
to that, it can
be utilized
by pupils as a profession after leaving the school as a few youngsters have passion to become a successful person in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
hence
, it is phenomenon opportunity for them to do practice with excellent guidance which
is rendered
by the coach in the school.

In conclusion
, physical education has numerous pros not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learners' life
also
in all stages of masses
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to provide knowledge pertaining to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
to pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they can stay active mentally and
physically
both.
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IELTS essay In this intensive world, the subject of physical education is dropped by the schools such as business studies. Further, I will represent the importance of sport in the education of youngsters in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are some factors which define the merits of sport in young pupils' study. First and foremost, it is the superior way to acquire relaxation instead of playing games on gadgets due to this, students can make more concentrate on their study as well as, they can also create flexibility in their body which is paramount imperative in order to stay healthy and strong. Moreover, when students play games in the school during the break, they obtain mental break as well, as a consequence, their mind becomes active again to do work. In addition to that, it can be utilized by pupils as a profession after leaving the school as a few youngsters have passion to become a successful person in the sports hence, it is phenomenon opportunity for them to do practice

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • In this intensive world, the subject of physical education is dropped by the schools such as business studies. Further, I will represent the importance of sport in the education of youngsters in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are some factors which define the merits of sport in young pupils' study. First and foremost, it is the superior way to acquire relaxation instead of playing games on gadgets due to this, students can make more concentrate on their study as well as, they can also create flexibility in their body which is paramount imperative in order to stay healthy and strong. Moreover, when students play games in the school during the break, they obtain mental break as well, as a consequence, their mind becomes active again to do work. In addition to that, it can be utilized by pupils as a profession after leaving the school as a few youngsters have passion to become a successful person in the sports hence, it is phenomenon opportunity for them to do practice