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In this day and age, numerous young people want to live in a big city. It is argued that nice opportunities only may be found in huge cities.

In this day and age, numerous young people want to live in a big city. It is argued that nice opportunities only may be found in huge cities. gAymA
In this day and age, numerous young people want to live in a big city. It is argued that nice opportunities only may be found in huge cities. Meanwhile, some people assume that the great opportunities are fair and they can be found elsewhere. In my perspective, I totally agree with the opinion that good opportunities can be found anywhere else, and the reasons and examples to support my agreement are given below. Firstly, nowadays, the development of transport infrastructure, the internet, finances, and technology are so fast and make the gap between urban and rural areas closer and closer. It means humans can take advantage of that to improve their knowledge, to approach the opportunity. For example, thanks to the development of the internet, the worker can look forward to their job everywhere in a country even around the world and they also can work from home because the most important is their productivity. In addition, knowledge and mindset are the most important to get a great opportunity. It means humans have to get the knowledge that likes the foundation to build an opportunity. Nowadays, there are many universities that provide a lot of courses online to everyone around the world no matter where you are, with the internet human can learn whatever you want. For instance, if one lives in a big city but they do not learn, improve their knowledge, they still lose great opportunities because someday, should someday the opportunity come to them but they do not have a good foundation, they do not have enough abilities to catch that they also face with failure. In conclusion, I believe that in this fast-moving world, the good opportunities for everyone are equal not only because of the development of transport infrastructure, the internet, finances, and technology but also because of your knowledge, your mindset. If the opportunity comes to you but you have nothing that meaningless.
In this day and age, numerous young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city. It
is argued
that nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
may
be found
in huge cities. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assume that the great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fair and
they can
be found
elsewhere. In my perspective, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
can
be found
anywhere else, and the reasons and examples to support my agreement are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
below.

Firstly
, nowadays, the development of transport infrastructure, the internet, finances, and technology are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the gap between urban and rural areas closer and closer. It means humans can take advantage of that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, to approach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
.
For example
, thanks to the development of the internet, the worker can look forward to their job everywhere in a country even around the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they
also
can work from home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is their productivity.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and mindset are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
. It means humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that likes the foundation to build an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
. Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
universities that provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
courses online to everyone around the world no matter where you are, with the internet human can learn whatever you want.
For instance
, if one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not learn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, they
still
lose great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
someday, should someday the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
foundation, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
abilities to catch that they
also
face with failure.

In conclusion
, I believe that in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-moving world, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
are
equal not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of transport infrastructure, the internet, finances, and technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, your mindset. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you have nothing that meaningless.
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IELTS essay In this day and age, numerous young people want to live in a big city. It is argued that nice opportunities only may be found in huge cities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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