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In this contemporary world, people are more concerned about education. As a result, partly of communities assert that children should concentrate more on compulsory subjects

In this contemporary world, people are more concerned about education. As a result, partly of communities assert that children should concentrate more on compulsory subjects X7W0E
In this contemporary world, people are more concerned about education. As a result, partly of communities assert that children should concentrate more on compulsory subjects. Personally, I believe that the ideally solutions is the combination of both students favorite subjects and compulsory subjects for the sustainable development. Furthermore I will have a disputable discussion related this argument in the essay below. Initially, the merit of ecademic disciplines is perceived high significant and indubitable. To be more specific, education play an essential role for the development of young generation through accquaint chidren with informations in different fields and insight on varied professional, which constitute to their achievement careers in the future. In almost of traditional schools, student must to participate in fundamental subjects comprises computer science or math, etc, so student can be equiped themselves with comprehensive knowledge In contrast, not all subjects is easy and attractive, this could be bored sometimes. Proponents assert that students should have a right to decide what they will study, thus people usually exhibit more deternimation on what they have interest, so this could directly enhancer productivity in study. Last but not least, children are not have fully understanding what are have the best benificial and practiable for them so compulsory subjects with the strict censorshiped from experience professionals and government is the suitable choise for them. However to add colours in life and finding special skills in childrens, compulsory and interest subjects must have inextricably link. In conclusion, taking all into consideration, whether students should only study compulsory subject or engage in what they have interest is still a controversial issue. I hold firm encourage that should interwoven both in to one comprehensive curriculum.
In this contemporary world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more concerned about education.
As a result
, partly of communities assert that children should concentrate more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Personally
, I believe that the
ideally
solutions is the combination of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for the sustainable development.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
I will have a disputable discussion related this argument in the essay below.

Initially
, the merit of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecademic
disciplines
is perceived
high significant and indubitable. To be more specific, education play an essential role for the development of young generation through
Possible spelling mistake found.
accquaint
Possible spelling mistake found.
chidren
with
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields and insight on varied professional, which constitute to their achievement careers in the future. In almost of traditional schools,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
participate in fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
comprises computer science or math, etc,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "equipped", the past tense form of the verb 'equip'?
equiped
themselves with comprehensive
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
knowledge


In contrast
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is easy and attractive, this could
be bored
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. Proponents assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have a right to decide what they will study,
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
exhibit more
Possible spelling mistake found.
deternimation
on what they have interest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this could
directly
enhancer productivity in study. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, children are not
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
fully
understanding what are
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
the best
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificial
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
practiable
for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
with the strict
Possible spelling mistake found.
censorshiped
from experience professionals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is the suitable
Possible spelling mistake found.
choise
for them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
in life and finding special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
and interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
inextricably
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "linked".
link
.

In conclusion
, taking all into consideration, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
or engage in what they have interest is
still
a controversial issue. I hold firm encourage that should
Did you mean "have interwoven" or "interweave"?
interwoven
both in to one comprehensive curriculum.
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IELTS essay In this contemporary world, people are more concerned about education. As a result, partly of communities assert that children should concentrate more on compulsory subjects

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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