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In these recent years, the young people population has been increasing and now they are more than elderly in some countries. In my opinion, it is a beneficial factor for nations. However, in this essay, I will consider both positive and negative points.

In these recent years, the young people population has been increasing and now they are more than elderly in some countries. In my opinion, it is a beneficial factor for nations. However, in this essay, I will consider both positive and negative points. GwoYg
On the one hand, the young generation has more power, creativity, and dynamism which are beneficial to progress and activities in some cases. In fact, these mentioned items are basic foundations for developing and achieving economic and artistic aims, in which, always youth are better than old people. For example, in industrial cases like working in factories which are needful extra physical factors or the case of art, that the first and foremost point is creativity, the countries with a large number of young adults are more successful. Also, due to the fact that olds have lots of health problems and need significant health care and facilities like hospitals, governments in the countries with the majority of young, are able to set the added budget for other factors Instead of health issues of olds. On the other hand, finding a job position is hard in countries with a large number of youth, as well as, this disadvantage left a significant negative impact on society. In the other words, unemployment of a big group of the nation will be caused to increase the crime and mental problems. For instance, Iran which has many 20-35 years people, has very challenges in financial items and mental among this generation because of joblessness. In addition, the elderly are the inheritors of culture and history, so without them, it is tough that we save our heritage and origins. Although, governments could plan and organize these subjects with economic experts' help and also document the history. In conclusion, I believe that the positive effects in countries with more young people are key points for progressing and developing in cases like economy or art and with fewer elders, authorities have extra chances for development in more fields.
On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation has more power, creativity, and dynamism which are beneficial to progress and activities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. In fact, these mentioned items are basic foundations for developing and achieving economic and artistic aims, in which, always youth are better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, in industrial cases like working in factories which are needful extra physical factors or the case of art, that the
first
and foremost point is creativity, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults are more successful.
Also
, due to the fact that olds have lots of health problems and need significant health care and facilities like hospitals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, are able to set the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
budget for other factors
Instead
of health issues of olds.

On the other hand
, finding a job position is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
youth,
as well
as, this disadvantage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
a significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on society. In the other words, unemployment of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
group of the nation will
be caused
to increase the crime and mental problems.
For instance
, Iran which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
20-35 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenges in financial items and mental among this generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of joblessness.
In addition
, the elderly are the inheritors of culture and history,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
without them, it is tough that we save our heritage and origins. Although,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could plan and organize these subjects with economic experts'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and
also
document the history.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are key points for progressing and developing in cases like economy or art and with fewer elders, authorities have extra chances for development in more fields.
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IELTS essay In these recent years, the young people population has been increasing and now they are more than elderly in some countries. In my opinion, it is a beneficial factor for nations. However, in this essay, I will consider both positive and negative points.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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