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in these days big part of students are going to university rather than working after the secondary school.

in these days big part of students are going to university rather than working after the secondary school. this essay determine both drawbacks and adventages. on the one hand, there are many benefits to going to university, since a degree of higher education can open doors to better employment prospects. in addition to this, due to low amount of salary or unemployment there are so many people who have a dearth of money / therefore youngsters should work harder on theirselves so as to study in university, because currently economies are also becoming increasingly knowledge based. secondly, currently skilled workers are on the demand especially i in sectors such as engineering and technology and so on. furthermore skilled workers not only have a virtue but also special knowledge. FOR example specific knowledge and skills are the common requirement inmost fields. in fact, if people go to university they may broaden their horizon. on the other hand, after graduating high school adults can work without diploma. Moreover PRACTICAL TRAINING IS THE more relevant then university degree in service profession and industries. turning to the financial side, in the last decades a plenty of students are opted to study in higher education, while there are shortage of manual workers. according to the u. k, plumber numbers and the workers who are needed in health economy is scarce. because of this their services are becoming more and more unaffordable. in conclusion, although, manual workers always be needed in many areas, studying in university is better because of optimal oportunity than working after high school/
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of students are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
rather
than working after the secondary school.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
this
essay
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: “determines”.
determine
both drawbacks and
Possible spelling mistake found.
adventages
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, since a degree of higher education can open doors to better employment prospects.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
addition to this, due to low amount of salary or unemployment there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have a dearth of money /
therefore
youngsters should work harder on
Possible spelling mistake found.
theirselves
‘So as to’ expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using “to”
so as to
study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
currently
economies are
also
becoming
increasingly
knowledge based.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
secondly
,
currently
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are on the demand
especially
i in sectors such as engineering and technology and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
furthermore
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a virtue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
special knowledge.
FOR example
specific knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are the common requirement inmost fields.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
fact, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
they may broaden their horizon.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the other hand, after
The verb ‘to graduate’ requires the preposition ‘from’: “graduating from”.
graduating
high school adults can work without diploma.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
PRACTICAL TRAINING IS THE more relevant
Did you mean “than”?
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree in service profession and industries.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
turning
to the financial side, in the last decades a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of students
are opted
to study in higher education, while there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “shortages”?
shortage
of manual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
according
to the u. k, plumber numbers and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
who
are needed
in health economy is scarce.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
because
of this their services are becoming more and more unaffordable.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
conclusion, although, manual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
always
be needed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas, studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of optimal
Possible spelling mistake found.
oportunity
than working after high school/
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IELTS essay in these days big part of students are going to university rather than working after the secondary school.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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