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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own

In couple of times, the individuals are enquired to cascade their personal data such as their hobbies, area of interest as well as they were married or not while enrolling for their Professional Work interview by owners of organization. Besides some of them only would like to agree with the argument, rest of them showcased adverse effect over it. In this consignment, I will emphasize the my opinions based on the provided statements. The Decision-making capability and dedication of work time are two crucial factors for professionals to be acquired in order to work in company. Nevertheless, It can be pre-estimated by workplace owners with help of these given information. Moreover, These proficients plays a wide role over growth organization perspectives but also promote to attain the client deliverable on time without any further delays. The Field of interest forwarded by the people which readily rendered an opportunity for employers to align appropriate things for employees. Nevertheless, It enhances the both individuals and organizations development. For instance, If anyone is assigned to task with their area of study, then they will able to facilitate their talents and skills with short span of time. Despite these positive facts, There as critical adverse affects such as loss of information owing to fact that data of respective masses are taken by hackers via the process of web scrapping. consequently, It would push human resource to non safety Zone in the society. Furthermore, The Information Security Act has passed through constitution to Safe gaurd the everyone from cyber crimes. In the nutshell, The data and its factors possess major attention over the world in recent times. I would like to inclined with the serious negative impacts over the human rather the positive growth of them by utilizing these factors. Therefore, I am disagreeing with statement.
In
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, the individuals are
Possible spelling mistake. ‘enquired’ is British English.
enquired
to cascade their personal data such as their hobbies, area of interest
as well
as they
were married
or not while enrolling for their Professional Work interview by owners of organization.
Besides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument, rest of them showcased adverse effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
it. In this consignment, I will emphasize
A determiner cannot be combined with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply “the” or “my”?
the my
opinions based on the provided statements.

The Decision-making capability and dedication of work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are two crucial factors for professionals to
be acquired
in order to work in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Nevertheless
, It can be pre-estimated by workplace owners with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information.
Moreover
, These proficients plays a wide role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
growth organization perspectives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
promote to attain the client deliverable on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without any
further
delays.

The Field of interest forwarded by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which
readily
rendered an opportunity for employers to align appropriate things for

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
employees
.
Nevertheless
, It enhances the both individuals and organizations development.
For instance
, If anyone
is assigned
to task with their area of study, then they
Did you mean “will be able”?
will able
to facilitate their talents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with short span of time.

Despite these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
facts, There as critical adverse affects such as loss of information owing to fact that data of respective masses
are taken
by hackers via the process of web scrapping.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
consequently
, It would push human resource to
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non safety
Zone in the society.
Furthermore
, The Information Security Act has passed through constitution to Safe
Possible spelling mistake found.
gaurd
Possible typo. Did you mean “the” or “everyone”?
the everyone
from cyber crimes.

In the nutshell, The data and its factors possess major attention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the world in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. I would like to inclined with the serious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the human
rather
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
growth of them by utilizing these factors.
Therefore
, I am disagreeing with statement.
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IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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