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In their advertising, businesses nowadays

In their advertising, businesses nowadays xg07Q
Naw days, it has been advertised by businesses that their product is the best and new. although it can be a merit for companies, I think this idea would be a disadvantage of advertising development. In the following essay, both of the views will be discussed. Advertisements in businesses might be effective to attract customers. When a company advertises for it products which are emphasised that is new, many of people can be familiar with the new services or tools. This kind of notice encourages the public to purchase goods and trying on the services. When technological devices have been attended by people around the world and if an organization advertises a new electronic gadget such as an intelligent mobile phone, people will be unattractive to buy it. It can therefore be argued that the more marketings do notice for their produces, the more customer they can behave. On the other hand, It may be a negative point for people. When there is a competition between marketing to take people attention to organisation attendances, some unrealistic advertisements in some businesses would appear. So, the public can not have satisfaction whit their buying as the result of some sham notices in some business about the produces. As an example, some customers order the new products which the durable materials used in the production are advertised by a company while in a real situation it is not according to the advertisement. Consequently, a business might do unreal advertisements to compare whit other rivals in the same industry which create sham notices. In conclusion, in my view, if business introduces their new productions to people, they will be able to succeed in their industry. Also, as a demerit comparative marketing is observed between companies which can be caused by doing some advertisements that is unrealistic to give customers attentions.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Naw
days, it has
been advertised
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
that their product is the best and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
it can be a merit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
would be a disadvantage of advertising development. In the following essay, both of the views will
be discussed
.

Advertisements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
might be effective to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
advertises for it products which are
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasised' is British English.
emphasised
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be familiar with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
services or tools. This kind of notice encourages the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and trying on the services. When technological devices have
been attended
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world and if an organization advertises a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
electronic gadget such as an intelligent mobile phone,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be unattractive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it. It can
therefore
be argued
that the more
Possible spelling mistake found.
marketings
do notice for their produces, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
they can behave.

On the other hand
, It may be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
point for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. When there is a competition between marketing to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attention to
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
attendances,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unrealistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
would appear.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the public can not have satisfaction whit their buying as the result of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sham notices in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
about the produces. As an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
order the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
products which the durable materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the production
are advertised
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
while in a real situation it is not according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
Consequently
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
might do unreal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to compare whit other rivals in the same industry which create sham notices.

In conclusion
, in my view, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
introduces their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
productions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they will be able to succeed in their industry.
Also
, as a demerit comparative marketing
is observed
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which can
be caused
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that is
unrealistic to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
attentions.
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IELTS essay In their advertising, businesses nowadays

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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