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In the past ,when student complete thier school education ,they tend to study in thier own country ,nowdays they have more opportunity of this development outweigh the disadvantages

In the past, when student complete thier school education, they tend to study in thier own country, nowdays they have more opportunity of this development outweigh the disadvantages VEOyO
In this modern era, pupils migrate to foreign countries for their further eduaction instead of living in their own country. In my opinion, I believe that move to overseas countries bring more benifits for the students like they improve their life style by doing a job in overseas countries as compared to disadvantages might be bring or not. Admittedly, in my opinion I believe that it has many advantages if pupils move to foreign county like student will get lot of job opportunties in overseas countries. In other words, foreign countries are rich countries and provide lot of employment to the students. so pupils easily get a job in these countries and improve their social status. They alse enjoy the new work experience in overseas countries because whole work is done with easily with latest technolohy in abroad. secondly, student intract with lot of people in foreign countries and learn new culture and different languages with different habbits. Necvertheless, despite of its advantages there are some drawbacks if pupils move to abroad like pupils feel lolniness at home. In other words, they do not sahre their feelings with strange person in abraod that is why they feel depress and studnet miss their warmth which they recieve from their parents. Moreover, students feel hestiataion and do not make any friends. In addition, it affect on their financial balance because student have to spend lot of money when they move to abroad but some parents do not have enough money and they get money on the interest for their childre. As a result, family face many difficulties in order pay the debt In conclusion, although student get many benifits when they move to abraod but there are some drawbacks of it like students feel lolniless in other country and moving to abroad affect on their family buget.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for their
further
Possible spelling mistake found.
eduaction
instead
of living in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
bring more
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
like they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life style by doing a job in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as compared to disadvantages might be
Consider using the past participle "brought"?
bring
or not.
Admittedly
, in my opinion I believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
county like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
job
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunties
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and provide
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
employment to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social status. They
Possible spelling mistake found.
alse
enjoy the new work experience in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
whole work
is done
with
easily
with latest
Possible spelling mistake found.
technolohy
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible spelling mistake found.
intract
with
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and learn new culture and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
habbits
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Necvertheless
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
its advantages there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
Possible spelling mistake found.
lolniness
at home.
In other words
, they do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
sahre
their feelings with strange person in
Possible spelling mistake found.
abraod
that is
why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
depress and
Possible spelling mistake found.
studnet
miss their warmth which they
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
from their parents.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
Possible spelling mistake found.
hestiataion
and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any friends.
In addition
, it
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their financial balance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
money when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money on the interest for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childre
.
As a result
, family face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties in order pay the debt
In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
abraod
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of it like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
Possible spelling mistake found.
lolniless
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their family
Possible spelling mistake found.
buget
.

IELTS essay In the past, when student complete thier school education, they tend to study in thier own country, nowdays they have more opportunity of this development outweigh the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
305 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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